tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37025305.post1961609512860456316..comments2024-01-24T05:26:00.039-08:00Comments on Whitterer on Autism: Light the blue touch paper and retire to a safe distanceMaddyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05828186178060722812noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37025305.post-24661446415144122932007-07-11T19:43:00.000-07:002007-07-11T19:43:00.000-07:00Too cute!!!Too cute!!!EEhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15025777317455781050noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37025305.post-24522134230684486742007-07-11T17:31:00.000-07:002007-07-11T17:31:00.000-07:00I am also ROFLMAO, especially at,"He will be happy...I am also ROFLMAO, especially at,<BR/>"He will be happy when he explodes."Rachelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10683984456328644922noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37025305.post-31364740435044484692007-07-11T16:59:00.000-07:002007-07-11T16:59:00.000-07:00OMG! I am ROFLMAO! And anonymous...THAT was price...OMG! I am ROFLMAO! And anonymous...THAT was priceless indeed!Niksmomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14715465327343655483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37025305.post-9265823795237425762007-07-11T16:41:00.000-07:002007-07-11T16:41:00.000-07:00Now that I think about, way back when I was pregna...Now that I think about, way back when I was pregnant there were times when I felt like I was going to explode and I'm sure that I might have been happy had I actually done so! <BR/><BR/>I am wondering just what cartoons they were watching while you were out and just what sort of education they were getting, though!Lindahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05698969349369789642noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37025305.post-62904310975971043562007-07-11T13:00:00.000-07:002007-07-11T13:00:00.000-07:00ROFL!!!ROFL!!!HomeSchooling Ologisthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03420737240532706812noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37025305.post-30048878338180543522007-07-11T10:25:00.000-07:002007-07-11T10:25:00.000-07:00Reminded me of an emial I got just yesterday. Sorr...Reminded me of an emial I got just yesterday. Sorry so long :D<BR/><BR/>Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was<BR/>"something wrong" with one of the two lizards he holds prisoner in his Room.<BR/><BR/>"He's just lying there looking sick," he told me. "I'm serious dad, can You help?"<BR/><BR/>I put my best lizard-healer statement on my face and followed him into His bedroom. One of the little lizards was indeed lying on his back, looking stressed. I immediately knew what to do.<BR/><BR/>"Honey," I called, " come look at the lizard!"<BR/><BR/>"Oh my! Gosh," my wife diagnosed after a minute. "She's having babies."<BR/><BR/>"What?" my son demanded. "But their names are Bert and Ernie, Mom!"<BR/><BR/>I was equally outraged.<BR/><BR/>"Hey, how can that be? I thought we said we didn't want them to<BR/>Reproduce," I accused my wife.<BR/><BR/>"Well, what do you want me to do, post a sign in their cage?" she<BR/>Inquired.(I actually think she said this sarcastically!)<BR/><BR/>"No, but you were supposed to get two boys!" I reminded her,(in my<BR/>Most loving, calm, sweet voice, while gritting my teeth together).<BR/><BR/>"Yeah, Bert and Ernie!" my son agreed.<BR/><BR/>"Well, it's just a little hard to tell on some guys, you know," she<BR/>Informed me. (again with the sarcasm, you think?)<BR/><BR/>By now the rest of the family had gathered to see what was going on. I Shrugged, deciding to make the best of it.<BR/><BR/>"Kids, this is going to be a wondrous experience, I announced. "We're About to witness the miracle of birth."<BR/><BR/>"Oh, gross!" they shrieked.<BR/><BR/>"Well, isn't THAT just great! What are we going to do with a litter of<BR/>Tiny little lizard babies?" my wife wanted to know. (I really do think She was being snotty here, too. Don't you?)<BR/><BR/>We peered at the patient. After much struggling, what looked like a<BR/>Tiny foot would appear briefly, vanishing a scant second later.<BR/><BR/>"We don't appear to be making much progress," I noted. "It's breech,"<BR/>My wife whispered, horrified.<BR/><BR/>"Do something, Dad!" my son urged.<BR/><BR/>"Okay, okay." Squeamishly , I reached in and grabbed the foot when it Next appeared, giving it a gentle tug. It disappeared. I tried several More times with the same results.<BR/><BR/>"Should I call 911," my eldest daughter wanted to know. "Maybe they Could talk us through the trauma." (You see a pattern here with the Females in my house?)<BR/><BR/>"Let's get Ernie to the vet," I said grimly. We drove to the vet with My son holding the cage in his lap. "Breathe, Ernie, breathe," he urged.<BR/><BR/>"I don't think lizards do Lamaze," his mother noted to him. (Women can<BR/>Be so cruel to their own young. I mean what she does to me is one thing, But this boy is of her womb, for God's sake.)<BR/><BR/>The Vet took Ernie back to the examining room and peered at the little Animal through a magnifying glass.<BR/><BR/>"What do you think, Doc, a C-section?" I suggested scientifically.<BR/><BR/>"Oh, very interesting," he murmured. "Mr. And Mrs. Cameron, may I speak To you privately for a moment?"<BR/><BR/>I gulped, nodding for my son to step outside.<BR/><BR/>"Is Ernie going to be okay?" my wife asked.<BR/><BR/>"Oh, perfectly," the Vet assured us. "This lizard is not in labour. In Fact, that isn't EVER going to happen... Ernie is a boy. You see, Ernie Is a young male. And occasionally, as they come into maturity, like Most male species, they um.... um.... get excited. Just the way he did, Lying on his back." He blushed, glancing at my wife.<BR/><BR/>"Well, you know what I'm saying, Mr. Cameron."<BR/><BR/>We were silent, absorbing this.<BR/><BR/>"So Ernie's just... just... excited," my wife offered.<BR/><BR/>"Exactly," the vet replied, relieved that we understood.<BR/><BR/>More silence. Then my viscous, cruel wife started to giggle. And<BR/>Giggle. And then even laugh loudly.<BR/><BR/>"What's so funny?" I demanded, knowing, but not believing that the woman<BR/>I married would commit the upcoming affront to my flawless manliness.<BR/><BR/>Tears were now running down her face. Laughing "It's just... that...<BR/>I'm picturing you pulling on its... its... teeny little..." she gasped for<BR/>More air to bellow in laughter once more.<BR/><BR/>"That's enough," I warned. We thanked the Vet and hurriedly bundled the<BR/>Lizards and our son back into the car. He was glad everything was going<BR/>To be okay.<BR/><BR/>"I know Ernie's really thankful for what you've done, Dad," he told me.<BR/><BR/>"Oh, you have NO idea,"<BR/><BR/>Closed mouth, my wife agreed, collapsing with laughter.<BR/><BR/>1 - Lizards - $140...<BR/><BR/>2 - Cage - $50...<BR/><BR/>3 - Trip to the Vet - $30...<BR/><BR/>4 - Memory of your husband pulling on a lizard's winkie..... Priceless<BR/><BR/><BR/><BR/>Moral of the story - finish biology class - lizards lay eggs!!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37025305.post-81373316300036298142007-07-11T08:52:00.000-07:002007-07-11T08:52:00.000-07:00Great post! Made me smile.Great post! Made me smile.Melaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05747924428311146781noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37025305.post-40392533335766783342007-07-11T08:05:00.000-07:002007-07-11T08:05:00.000-07:00:) Exploding lizards, eh? Maybe we should report...:) Exploding lizards, eh? Maybe we should report you to PETA...Melissahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14908930035466483151noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37025305.post-89937308525617338302007-07-11T05:49:00.000-07:002007-07-11T05:49:00.000-07:00Ahhh, trying to find reason... when there was to b...Ahhh, trying to find reason... when there was to be no reason to be had....<BR/>You made me smile...Pendullumhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11833881250780345533noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37025305.post-17662080727806612472007-07-11T04:57:00.000-07:002007-07-11T04:57:00.000-07:00I just love the kind of reasoning and imagination ...I just love the kind of reasoning and imagination here. It's like some sort of wonderful creation myth, perhaps an explanation of the Big Bang; the great lizard in the sky saw a rainbow and exploded with delight, bringing about the creation of the universe. :-)The Goldfishhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15213378454070776331noreply@blogger.com