Splinters and planks
[Translation = No autism today thank you]
It’s decided then! We’re not having autism around here today. [translation = this neck of the woods] Not to put too fine a point on it, I’m just not in the mood for it, so it’s cancelled, autism that is to say. This is a mindset that suits me just fine for today, [translation = this is a preferable perspective] as I have far too much to do, to be messing around with autism. Whilst they’re at school, we’ll put autism on pause. [translation = freeze frame]
Now, where shall I start? [translation = inertia, too much to do producing an inability to make a start] So much to, do and not enough time to do it in. [translation = lethargy] I know, now that I’ve finished sterilizing the house, [translation = obsessive cleanliness] I can move onto more cerebral exercises, such as putting all the books into alphabetical order. [translation = meets the need to organize, such as to gain a finger hold of control which induces calm] Or should I sort them by size, divide them into hard backs and paper backs, by subject? [ translation = more order more control, becoming distracted by minutiae, losing sight of the end product] Perhaps I should just wipe them all down first?[translation = displacement activity rather than doing what you should be doing. {sub translation = prevarication}] Mind you, I don’t know if they’ll all fit on the shelves in any event? [translation = ideation, inability to foresee the end] I know, I’ll sort them into piles first. [translation = inability to sequence, prioritize to produce a positive outcome] I should probably wear rubber gloves and some soapy water. [translation = tactile defensiveness] 
Perhaps I should have a snack first before I make a start? I peer in the fridge = yuk! [translation = prevarication and oral defensiveness] I’ll turn the volume down on the telephone so that I don’t get interrupted. [translation = inducing isolation, reinforcing lack of ability to socialize, aural sensitivity disrupting thought processes] Ooo I hope I have enough time, don’t want to make a start and then have to dash off? [translation = anxiety inducing, need for task completion and perfection or no attempt will be made at all. Anxiety without foundation, this is a house with at least one clock in every room of the house]
No! You’re absolutely wrong. In my experience apples always fall many miles away from the tree. [translation = just as well my catching skills are marginally better than my underarm throw]
