Many people have a hard time understanding why the parents of special needs children are so incredibly inefficient.
So many of these children are more than capable but their parents get in the way of progress. [translation = a lawful impediment] Most parents have the best of intentions, but sometimes it can take a very long time for what appear to be simple skills, to be mastered.
In this particular household, we have been struggling with mealtimes for many a long year. For one of my sons, food is aversive. Like many children, food is of no interest to him. [translation = refueling stop] A wise parent would open a catering carton of Goldfish crackers and be done with it. [translation = guilty as charged] Other more foolish parents, know that the food campaign must be maintained. [translation = what’s a few more months or years at this stage of the game] I already know, that there is a very fine line to be followed. [translation = push to hard and he can not eat for five days straight] I also know that we are slowly moving in the right direction. [translation = from 3 foods to 17 foods in three and a half years]
We start our day before it is light. My son drapes himself on the table shoveling breakfast cereal into his mouth that remains open, whilst he attempts mastication. [translation = many speech delayed children have a hard time controlling where their tongue is, in relation to all the other bits and bobs in there] He attempts to talk at the same time. [translation = bad table manners but how we love those moments of voluntary communication]
“When it is?”
“What is what dear?” I think for a second. Did he just say ‘when’ rather than ‘what’? He did! I blink and await elucidation.
“I din say ‘what’ I say ‘whennnn!’?”
“Yes, thank you. I realize that now. Seems like my ears aren’t working properly this morning.” How many more failing body parts am I to discover?
“Das o.k.” So magnanimous. I wait. I do not prompt him to continue because then I might jinx my chances. I wait a bit more, listen to the crunching cereal and watch Cheerios ping around to various quarters of the room. [translation = one of the penalties of poor lip closure]
“So…..I say…..when it is?”
“When is what dear?”
I wonder how I’ll manage with this new phrase and my new response? Maybe I should dig out a new response to use for the next six months? What new response would be a better response?
“When I am having my snack?” he bellows as he chucks his spoon into the bowl with a clatter, clutches both tightly, springs from the chair with the skill of a gymnast, skitters to the sink, flings them both into the bowl, flips back around 180 degrees with a grin from ear to ear to finish with, “coz I finish my breakfast and I am being dah hungry!”
[translation = balm to the barmy ears]
Gold medal winner that he is.
9 hours ago