Bent out of shape

I run in from the garden with a bent package stuffed under my arm to remove half a dozen red hot rechargeable batteries from the tumble drier, along with a disassembled home made scorpion. The noise is enough to make my ears bleed.
“What a dipstick!”
“Who is being dipstick?”
“The post man.”
“Dah…..post man? What is dat being?”
“Not what, who….”
“Who is dipstick? Who is post man?”
“Er not post man,..... mail man,...... mail person er…..mail carrier.”
“You are word trouble.”
“Hmm.”
“Attack!”
“Pardon? Attack? Who?”
“You.”
“Me? Attack whom?”
“No…..you are be an English attack.”