When we first arrived in California everything was fun, new and exciting. We knew that our new homeland was just like the one we left, apart from the accents. The main difference between England and America, apart from the accents, was that so many things were so hilarious. Everything was so funny. We were delighted with the stereotypes, confirmation of our prejudices. We saw them everywhere and oh how we laughed. The huge chap with the knee high white socks in open toed sandals, the plaid shorts down to his knees no less, the bigness of everything, oh what fun.
I wrote regularly to my family once a week, as the international telephone calls were too expensive. I told of our adventures in oh such a foreign land, the sprinklers that erupted to soak you unexpectedly, the six lane traffic in residential areas, the salads that were the size to feed a whole neighbourhood. My lightweight airmail letter contained a flimsy example of those mad cap Americans, a carefully folded paper toilet seat cover. What could be more hysterical? Oh what joy, but of course Brits always gravitate to scatological humour. The most joyous thing of all was that Americans didn’t realize how amusing they all were with all their funny little ways. They all thought they were perfectly normal!
We of course, knew differently.
Oh what a long time ago it all seems. As we’d wipe away the tears of mirth, it was difficult to fathom which was more funny, that Americans were funny or that they didn’t know how funny they were?
As we move out of Winter into Spring my son has difficulty transitioning to the changing seasons, or more specifically, the lighter clothing required when the temperature reaches the 90s. Although it’s already May, he is still clad in fleece trousers and several long sleeved T-shirts. These days I let him be. In previous years I dictated clothing. I stopped dictating short trousers when I found I was unable to prevent him from moving the shorts down to cover his ankles regardless of whatever else was exposed as a by-product.
I rush after him first thing in the morning as he squeals towards the toilet. I remember those funny toilet seat covers. I watch him sit gingerly, with caution and a grimace on his face, even though the seat has been sanitized and dried to meet his exacting standards of hygiene. As I watch and wait, I notice something else.
“Ooo you’re wearing shorts today!”
“Yes I am be brave!” Shortly thereafter, the waistband is up and so are his snowy white socks. “Are those your shorts dear? They look a bit big.”
“Dey are not big, dey are long!” I beam at the two inch gap between the hemline of his shorts and the cuff of his socks.
To end, I might remind myself of learning curves. I can tell you that the first time the police came to call at our house I was delighted. Imagine! At last I would have the chance to tell everyone at home that the Sheriff had visited. I was tempted to exaggerate, to mention a non existence horse, but I relented and instead I regaled them with graphic descriptions of the very shiny Sheriff’s badge. What a jolly jape! Could it really to be true, a real Sheriff just like in all the Westerns. What a hoot! How hysterically funny, the guy was such a wag. The second time he came to call it somehow wasn’t quite so amusing, although it was hard to take the chap seriously with his funny hat and handlebar moustache. The third time he came to call on the same day, I could tell that he was less than amused, although I couldn’t see his eyes behind the flashy sunglasses. I wondered if the gun in his holster might not be made of plastic?
In case you are a foreigner, I should warn you that if you call the emergency services willy nilly, such behaviour is considered to be:-
1. a nuisance
2. the offence of wasting police time
3. A financial fine will follow
I am no longer laughing.
Here are my last 3 moans on Trusera:-
"Chickens and Eggs"
"The Cost of Autism"
Sunday, May 11, 2008
"Angela" over at "Memoirs of a Chaotic Mommy" has tagged me for this 'Your life in 6 words" meme. Hers is much more pleasant than mine.
However, as if that wasn't enough, she also added an extremely helpful note about derivation and pronunciation, as follows:-
'What is a meme?!
A meme has been explained to me in two ways:
1. Meme--pronounced 'mem', a memory
2. Meme--rhymes with 'theme', a theme where I am tagged to answer questions about 'me' or myself...'
Now isn't that illuminating? If that has been a test I'd have scored zero, or naught as I would prefer to refer to it.
So my life in six words would be this:-
'Rambunctious, rowdy, revelry raising unruly renegades.'
So now I need to tag six people?
Six it is. Watch out next six commenters, you'll be in the hot seat.
So first up is "Joker" from "Musings of a Lurcher." I imagine that this might prove to be a more interesting perspective than some, and you're allowed to let the peeps do the writing for you.
Then to "Niksmom" at "Maternal Instincts." Since her instincts, maternal or otherwise, are infinitely more sound than mine, I'm sure she'll whip this one out before we can all shout 'lovies!'
Also to "Furiousball" over at "In my diatribe," where no doubt his fiendish brain will startle us all once again. Maybe it might merit some lyrics or a musical accompaniment?
Sadly we'll have to skip over Bad Mommy as without blog, we are without public contact, but private works fine for me.
Then to "Kristina".......oh no, my Latin is rusty, I never progressed much further than amo, amas, amat! I'll never understand her six words. Mind you, she might use six Greek words instead which would be even worse. No wonder it's impossible to spell paediatrician out here. There again the average qwerty keyboard should foil her!
Then we have "Karen" over at "Art in the Garage." Now that might work well for us visual learners as she might treat us to a collage of her six words, but with the forthcoming exhibition she may be a little pressed for time.
Ooo dear, can't do Farmwifetwo as she has abandoned blogging in favour of more cerebral pastimes with a dollop or two or hard graft in the real world.
Aha! Then we have "Your Vegan Mom" This is a very handy spot indeed for those who have special diets. The recipes are easy to follow and she's very patient with idiots who require the odd translation here and there.
Come on people! It's only six words. In summary, please refrain from using foreign terms, namely the Queen's English, so that there be universal comprehension.
Well wouldn't you just know it! Just as I'm mid 'catch up' "Angela" comes pootling around to give me this "Gratitude with Attitude Award," what a nerve! It's all a plot to demonstrate my ever growing inefficiency and ineptitude.
She's kind enough to point us in the direction of the originator:
Gratitude With Attitude: Changing My World, One Attitude at a Time
And the post that started it all:
"I have finally done it…..gotten on board with all the wonderful awards out here in the blogasphere. Yep thats right I have created one of my own. The all powerful… Gratitude With Attitude award. Oh, come on, you know you want it! (LOL) I am so Thankful for all of you who visit regularly, even when I am irregular. :::laughing now::: I appreciate you all so much! I love hearing about your Gratitude and I love that some of you have carried a Grateful theme to your own blogs! I love that you understand being Thankful is not about a passive attitude. It’s about learning. It’s about seeing things different, having new eyes! Gratitude is about keeping that happy positive outlook on life…even when things don’t go the way we want them to. It is not about giving in, lying down or accepting everybody else’s rules it’s about making your own rules! Doing what you do with a happy grateful attitude keeping the “sour” to yourself. Gratitude IS Attitude!"
I'm delighted if a little bemused that I should be a recipient. I thought I'd already made my position abundantly clear on the issue of autism, that when it comes to moaning I am supreme on the topic. That said, I'm more than happy to pass it along to those who share differing perspectives with lots of attitude.
I would pop along and visit "Susan Senator" or maybe dip into her "book" again as there's a woman that's in it for the long haul.
The first time I came across "Mom and her 26 children" I nearly died of heart failure. Fortunately for me, matters have improved since then. As far as I'm concerned and around here, dyslexia rules K.O.
Maybe I'd go along and visit "Estee" or poke about in the "Autism Acceptance Project."
I know that these are all our 'old' favourites, but if you need a dose of 'attitude' then I know that I'd be happy to pootle along to "MOM- Not Otherwise Specified," especially now that the "meltdowns" are almost gone as I'd hate a "frosty" reception.
I could always go along and tease "Kim" over at "Kim Stagliano" as it's always fun to interrupt her creative muse and manuscript writing, or is that re-writing by now?
Lastly, I would have to recommend "Mother of Shrek." For the time being "Casdok" has abandoned her blog and her role as mother as I believe she's swanned off to the Seychelles to enjoy a cocktail and a pedicure of the neon green variety.
I am mis-informed?
You're right, she's actually working away to sort out the next tremendous transition for her son, but her blog is still there for your entertainment, but don't look at the rude bits as I certainly would never endorse such a "thing."
Perish the thought! I'll stop now as the NPR pledge break is rattling my brain so I need to escape from the kitchen.
Ooo dear, now that's bad! I've just noticed that they're all mummies and I've ignored all the daddies. I promise to make amends next time.