Exclusive and Elusive

One of the strangest things about a speech delay is the effect it has on a parent.

Lucky parents like me, notice that ever so gradually over time, the delay has diminished. They are less non-verbal. They have oodles of words. They can stick a whole stack of them together to form what resembles a first class sentence.

The stutters and stammers are less frequent. The diction is poor but comprehensible to anyone who is sufficiently motivated and interested. Yet their meaning……….is so often mysterious.

This could be a fatal flaw for a parent, but I say, if in doubt, just jump in with both feet.

“I wanna go mushroom surfing!”
“Uh, uh, uh, finish getting dressed first and then you can go mushroom surfing.”


“Mom?”
“Yes dear?”
“Now you are beed dah Super A Plus!”
“I am? Really! I don’t think I’ve ever had an ‘A’ for anything, let alone a Super or a Plus, for that matter.”
“Well…..now you are be!”
“B! I’ve been demoted already? I only just had the A. What did I do wrong?”
“Not ‘B’……’be’”

“D’ya know……ya can git…….. hedgehog pants?”
“Um…..no…..actually I didn’t know that. Do you want hedgehog pants?” I can think of few things more painful than knickers full of prickles.
“Japan.”
“Japanese hedgehogs? I didn’t know Japan had any hedgehogs? Porcupines perhaps?”
“No. Japan is have sonic.”
“Er……sonic…….sound……um…..”
“Sonic, he is be from Japan.”
“Oh, I don’t think I knew that either. Oh! Sonic the Hedgehog is Japanese!”
“Yes! I am be want pants like dat.”


“Dad?”
“Yes.”
“Where it is be?”
“Where is what?”
“My……DNA is be?”
“Oh, your DNA is in every cell in your body.”
“In my hairs?”
“Yes.”
“In my nail?”
“Everywhere, every single cell has your own unique DNA.”
“I am like.”
“What do you like?”
“Unique.”