Marital Bliss

Happy, or rather, successful partnerships, married or otherwise, share a common feature, the ability to communicate effectively and dispel conflict by achieving peaceful solutions to differences in a harmonious manner. But only in an ideal world............

We bicker in the kitchen. Because we are bickering seriously and refuse to be deflected from our joint purpose of one up-man-ship, we ignore our children. As often as not the subject matter of a conflict is irrelevant, something and nothing. Quick tempered or slow to rise to the bait, the skirmishes between couples are all too commonplace.

“Don’t be so pig headed, just give it a go.”
“Mommee has not being head of dah pig,” interjects the ignored one.
“I won’t or rather I can’t, and there’s and end to it.”
“Where it is, dah end?”
“It’ll only take a mo.”
“What it is dah mo?”
“Another time perhaps, just not now! Can’t you see I’m up to my elbows in dishes?”
“Not elbows, dah forearmses. Not dah dishes, dah soapes er…..bubbles.”
“Leave them be, they’re not going anywhere. I need your help now!”
“Where dey go, where dah dishes are going?”
“It’ll only take a sec, done in a trice!”
“Why for are you dah fast talk?’
“You always say that and then I’ll be stuck in the garage until kingdom come!”
“Why for are you dah loud talk?”
“Hogwash, you don’t half exaggerate!”
“Why for are you dah mad talk?”
“Not ‘mad,’ cross!” chorus the foreigners to the speech delayed seven year old.

A moment of silence aids blood pressure fall out and the restoration of sanity.