Tips for sanity in the holiday season - Thursday 13 # 175 edition
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1. Buy yourself a chocolate filled Advent Calendar regardless of your faith so you can reward yourself at the end of each productive day. 2. Write holiday cards and mail on 12th. Realize that the last mailing date for Europe is the 11th. 3. Buy wrapping paper on sale in bulk. Realize once home that it is Wedding paper. 4. Splash out on an extravagant festive tree. On return realize it is too tall to be housed. 5. Stick to new rule that carelessly scratched DVD’s will not be replaced. Will power melts in the face of “Polar Express.” 6. Yield to whining children and buy cheapo stockings for the cats. Realize, once home, that they are for dogs. 7. Label your pies carefully before freezing, as mashed potatoes, vegetables and apple pie is unlikely to tickle the taste-buds. 8. It is a mistake to wrap and give a calendar to your spouse as a gift. It will be needed both before and during the holiday season, especially if your birthday falls in January. 9. Estimate how many days you can remain sane without a shower, then order the turkey. Write the shop’s name on the inside of your left wrist. 10. Draw up a fully comprehensive list of everything you need to buy from the supermarket for the feast well in advance. Do not leave the list anywhere near the paper shredder. 11. Do not wrap all presents and label later to save time. This only works if you have a photographic memory or x-ray vision. 12. Note that decorative wax apples, whilst festive, are also a health hazard unless you can guarantee 24/7 supervision of the fruit bowl. 13. Dig out the old spike so that you can keep all receipts from purchases until after the great day. After the great day when you note you have a houseful of rejected gifts, you can stab yourself in the forehead as a reminder against extravagance. Even if you are an abject failure, you did try, so scoff all the 24 chocolates in your Advent Calendar.  |
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The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
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