The survival of the fittest

One of the many advantages of having an excessively large family is that it provides ample opportunity for me to exercise my powers of delegation.

I leave my daughter and her partner to mind Nonna and the three siblings, a two to one ratio, whilst I rush off to the supermarket to feed the hungry hoards. Within 30 minutes I’m back, fully and efficiently re-stocked for possibly another 24 hour period. Predictably enough, the house is in chaos but that does not deflect me from my mission.
“Right! I want every one of you out on the drive way to carry in a bag into the kitchen…..except you Nonna, you’re excused.” Three small people blink in disbelief, “you want to eat, right?” I add encouragingly.
“I am not liking yur disgustin foods.”
“Never mind that, it’s your new job.”
“Jobs is for adults.”
“Nope, not around here. This is how it works. I shop for the food. Daddy pays for the food, you do your work by carrying the food inside the house.”
“I cannot be doing dah working chores today.”
“Really. And why would that be then?”
“Because I am dah weakest one.”
“Rubbish! You’re as strong as a cat.”
“But my cat body is being too empty of the good foods for the giving of the energy.”
“Fair enough. I’ll just have to eat the three catering cartons of Goldfish crackers on my own then.”

England 2, America Infinity

My son snuggles up close to purr with contentment as our holiday draws to a close. He is still at the ‘part cat’ stage of development but there is no harm in checking whether England has grown in attractiveness after an additional annual exposure.
“So………is there anything else you like about England now?”
“Else?”
“Um……additional…….extra. You like afternoon tea time but is there a number two, a second thing that you like?”
“Well……..”
“Yes?”
“I think maybe I am liking all dah alley’s.”
“Alley’s?”
“Yes…….alley’s is being dah little wiggly roads dat are being too small for proper cars.”
“Ah! Yes indeedy. All those little cobbled streets are rather quaint.”
“Dey are perfect.”
“Really! You surprise me. I thought you liked large, straight and neat.”
“Yes but my cat part like’s alley’s betterer.”