Translation and interpretation of available Data

[translation = guessing {sub translation = an uneducated guess to boot}]

I fight with the Brussel sprouts as my younger autistic son drapes himself on me.
“But why?” No speech delay today then!
“Why what dear?” I am not ready for any further discussions about vegetables.
“Why naked?” Please, just let me get these finished!
“They’re not naked dear, I’m just taking the outer leaves off so that they’ll be all perky underneath.”
“What perk?” Help!
“Um, fresher, greener, more appetizing.” He sidles around and melts over the kitchen counter, rests his head on his forearm and honours me with a glimpse of his huge eyes.


“What you talk? What you say? What are you talking about?” I don’t know, now that you mention it? Perhaps I’m on the wrong tack entirely.
“What are you talking about? Are you asking me about the Brussel sprouts?”
“No I ask about da naked?”
“Who or what is naked dear?”
“Daddy.”
“No he’s not, he’s just got dressed.”
“I know dat! But before. When he is in da bed he is naked.” Ah. I glance around for support. [translation = physical presence of additional parent {sub translation = the culprit}]

“Oh here he is! Look Daddy’s here now, why don’t you ask him yourself about being naked in bed?” Spouse stops dead in the kitchen and blinks. [translation = several times, whilst his word retrieval system kicks in.]
He exhales and rubs the stubble on his chin to aid word production.
“Well, I don’t like pyjamas, never have, never will.”
“Why you don like em?”
“I don’t know really, you just get all tied up and tangled in them.”
“Me too! Why I have to be wearing da pyjamas den if you are not wearing da pyjamas also?” [translation = get out of that one matey? {sub translation = check mate}]
“Um?.....well when you are a man then you can decide for yourself.” Good counter!
“What if I grown up to be da woman?”
“You won’t.”
“No, no, no. I am meaning……er…….Mummy is not wearing da pyjamas either?” [translation = sunk]
“Women don’t wear pyjamas they wear, er……they wear nighties don’t they? What do women wear in bed love?”
“Don’t ask me, I want nothing to do with this conversation. But don’t indoctrinate the child with such sexist propaganda!” [translation = why don’t you both just run along and play somewhere else?]

“Y’know. I am finking dat dis is…..er……well…….jus a minit………is it dat da English people are naked in bed and not da American people?” Horray! A let out clause.
“Yes, you’re absolutely right! English people are naked in bed at night, not American people, they were pyjamas and nighties at night.” Now there’s a stroke of luck! Spouse and I grin at each other, another triumph of logic.
"You know?" he says, "you need to remind me about that tactile whatever it is, or is that sensory whatever it was?"
"You think that's what it might be?" Our son disrobes in the kitchen between us. Spouse is first, “what are you doing? Don’t take your clothes off!”
“But I am an American and it is day time.” [translation = a double dose from the gene pool]