Unparalleled logic

Being of a scientific frame of mine [translation = boffin] I determine to use my ‘down time’ constructively. The choices available are limited. A glance in the mirror reflects a face the size of a dinner plate. This means that where I once had one square centimeter of flesh, I currently enjoy 3 square centimeters of skin, stretched to a level that I did not believe possible. I accept the seriousness of the situation because I am able to see my face in the mirror without wearing my glasses.

I am unable to wear my glasses because I have a very fat head, which in turn, in part explains the limited choices available for amusement. Clearly this is not an opportunity to be missed. Instead of hunting for facial features hidden beneath wrinkles, I now have a face like an overblown balloon. Logic tells me that now is the time for ‘skin treament’ as I will be able to clean each individual pore now that it is the size of a crater. When the swelling goes down I will have the cleanest skin in Christendom, or failing that, at least in a small radius on San Jose.

I hunt for a bar of soap without any spectacles and fail. I’d like to return to my book but I forgot to take ‘large print’ choices from the library. I feel boredom settle just as junior appears. He doesn’t address me directly, more calls into the interior of the room, “Where is she? Where is my mum? Scuse me, do you know where dah mum is plez Mr. Pumpkin Head?”