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Sunday, April 29, 2007

Book Choice - reciprocal exchange we love you


“Tell you what!”
“Wot?”
Horray! Months of speech therapy just to elicit this particular typical response.
“You pick the book and I’ll read it to you for a change.”
“I am not being dah reader?”
“Just a thought.”
“Which book I am reading?”
“Doesn’t matter. Anything you like.”
“You are not er….doing dah choosing?”
“Right.”
“Wot I choose?”
“You tell me?”
“ANyfink?”
“Anything.”
“Anyfink but dah diamond book?”
“Which ‘diamond’ book?”
“Dah one wiv all dah diamonds.”
“Which one is that?”
“Agh! I not say it.”
“Why won’t you say it?”
“Coz den you will be remembering it and you will be making me be reading it again.”
“I don’t make you read books!”
“Liar! Liar! Liar!”
I try and work out which nerve I’ve touched? But he relents and takes pity on me. “It’s o.k. Your old lickle brain is not working good, but I have a brain of good remembering, because it is big.”
“You’re right! Clever big brain. So what book do I make you read?”
“Agh! You are dah stoopid one! You are making me read dah books dat are coming home from school.”
“Oh. Yes, you’re quite right, you do have to read those ones, but I don’t remember one about diamonds?”
“I fink it shrink!”
“What is shrinking?”
“Your stoopid brain.”
Fell right into that one! He’s probably right there too. In case you wonder why I don't correct him, guide him to more appropriate responses, this is merely due to the fact that I am too happy wallowing in the 'joy' of experiencing 'conversation.' [translation = reciprocal exchange]
“O.k. I give up. Which one was the diamond one?”
“’I’ll love you forever’! It had dah diamond periods! Remember!” he bellows, angry breath blasts my face.

Of course! How could I have forgotten? His book of the week from school, "I'll love you forever," had diamond shaped periods [translation = full stops] instead of the ordinary round black dots. How could I possibly expect the poor child to read such a nightmare of a book again. Publishers should take far more care with their punctuation, or more importantly, the shape of their punctuation, unless they wish to alienate a whole generation of potential readers.

And humble apologies to all those who favour different punctuation,spelling, font and colour schemes, all of which are beyond my technical control. [Translation = especially those annoying little cross bone tool icons in the side bar - enough to drive you.....

to an irritating place!]

15 comments:

KEYNOTER said...

Wow, imagine him remembering the diamond shaped full stops. That IS amazing. He sounds wonderful and you do too!

Faith's Mommy said...

I am looking forward to the day where Faith and I have some kind of dialect!! *smile*

Heidi said...

ooh... a conversation! rather than
'Pingu!'
'no, you have to eat your lunch first.'
'aaaaarrrrrrggghhhh! eeeeiiiiiiiigggggghhh'
lovely!

Haddayr said...

Amazing. The diamonds.

I think that children who remark upon their parents' stupid, old, shrinking brains are not being disrespectful; they are being realistic.

After I finally got it through to Arie that his brain, weird as it is, is much faster than mine, and recalls things much better than I do, he became very forgiving of my stupidity.

VAB said...

We can't see the cross-bone tools. Only the blog's author can. But we see them in our own blogs.

Melissa said...

Love it!! I think I'd deal with a little child insults if it meant verbal interaction with my bug!! :) And hey - don't worry about your shrinking brain... it happens to all of us... it's called Mommy Brain :)

Emma said...

The power of punctuation demonstrated! I KNEW IT.

bubandpie said...

I have read that book more times than I like to contemplate, but I have never, never observed that the periods are shaped like diamonds. I love it.

marmiteboy said...

My partners little girl, Sybil is going through a book ripping stage at the moment. She loves books and has a far higher reading age than her seven years. Howver she really likes teh pictures and if she can't get hold of scissors to cut the pictures out (and Lily won't let her near a pair out of her sight) she just uses her hands.

Conversation is coming on. On Saturday she actually answered a question from me. She was watching The Teletubbies dvd I bought her for her birthday and she was hiding her head behind the tv. When I asked what she was doing she said "I'm hiding from the pictures!".

Silly question to which I fully deserved such an answer.

Stacy said...

I might share your son's distaste for diamond-shapes, only because of the diamond-shaped bullets favored by my company in our report formatting. A few too many late nights with report formatting for me. So the child has taste.

That's an adorable picture.

Joeymom said...

I had a brain once. Then I got pregnant.

How cool to have a conversation with your little guy! I can still remember my first conversation with Joey. It was last summer. We had jus bought Big Bus, and we were headed home, when Joey started talking right out of the blue, and we talked about the new bus (and he thanked me!) It was amazing. He still doesn't do the reciprocal thing much, but its always wonderful when it happens, even if its just a couple of volleys.

Mom without a manual said...

I have non autism friends who rage on and on about how disrespectful their (5 year old) kids are and even say things like "I hate you."

Now, I agree I don't think I would like my child telling me such a thing but I have always thought to myself--I wish JP would articulate such emotion!

I suppose they say "be careful what you wish for!" Thanks for sharing!

tegdirb92 said...

BEAUTIFUL boys!! You are very blessed.

Kathryn said...

Great post - funny and poignant - it made me laugh and then tear up at the end. Revel away in the two way conversation. I would give my eye teeth for that with my daughter. What a great thing for you and your child.

Ok - now I am hooked on your blog. Thanks for that and all the time I will lose reading it. ;-)

Phoebe Gleeson said...

I hope to be there in a few years! We're still at the Bede: "Wantza (mumblemutter)?" me: What do you want?" Bede: "AAAAGH!" stage most days.

 
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