I have moved over to WhittereronAutism.com. Please follow the link to find me there. Hope to see you after the jump! :)

Sunday, April 08, 2007

Pets don’t eat pets!

















It’s more of a wish than a reality. These words are on the current linguistic loop, the latest "mantra." All of them say it frequently, but two of them say it in continuous periods of up to an hour, that would be stereo of course. Why are they saying it? Because at 5:10 a.m I was not at my best. If you find a cat hanging over the edge of the new, no expenses spared, aquarium, housing two, ‘free from the garden,’ lizards, a woman needs to protect that kind of financial investment. As that frantic furry paw worried the livestock, I have to admit that I tapped him, purely for attention seeking purposes, not to physically punish him. Although we have several water spray bottles around for the purpose of cat education, there’s never one handy when you need one. Corporal punishment has no place in our home, so my actions were duly noticed by the members of the cat protection league hereabouts.

“Why you dun dat to him!” says the first outraged junior member.
“He is our family pet, we love him always,” says the older, more severely speech impaired member, with perfect diction and piercing eye contact. [Link to cat search]
“Er, well, you’re right, but he was getting the lizards!”
“He was playing wiv DJ and Gecky?”
“Not playing! He was trying to eat them! Pets don’t eat pets! Right?” Horror registers on two small faces, even though only one of them is a vegetarian.
To be fair, as the day progresses, I notice that they build on this initial statement adding pertinent phrases designed to re-educate the cats, appeal to their better natures and send them on a guilt trip.
“Pets don’t eat pets! Pets are our friends, not food! How would you like it if we ate you? It’s o.k. we wouldn’t do that to you, I’m jus sayin. If you’re hungry we can feed you other food.” He witters on and on, paragraph after paragraph, a torrent of words, enough for a speech, key note speaker! I think I’m “eating crow,” or should that be “lizard?”

6 comments:

Liz Ditz said...

So often your posts make me laugh out loud. You are a wonderful writer.

LAA and Family said...

I love some of the mantras or lines of conversation that my Samuel comes up with. I can only imagine how fun it must be with your two boys at it! Of course there can be a flip side to it also! Good thing you stopped the cat before things got ugly!

Anonymous said...

Cats ... I think of them as miniature lions and tigers at times. :) I need to figure out the fonts on my blog ... it is by mistake that I change the size ..I'm challenged I know ~
Thanks for the uplifting comments ... note: photo-bucket only gets the shoulders and up and this is deliberate ;)
You note your bifocals .. I always get ... well you have a nice face... as if that fixes what I know doesn't work well .... I'm laughing right now and joining with you in female song ...
As for moving ..I think I will just throw everything (thats is what I feel like anyways) hate moving but will look forward to scaling down. Thanks for the well wishes ..I pass some to you and yours as well.

Cheers!

Zoe

AshleyLeo said...

I really enjoy your posts that include the kitties. What a joy to have animals for kids. Not for everyone, that's for sure.

I just picked up our kitty from the vet,after signing a mastercard reciept that said $667. How we love our kitty, the price doesn't matter. He apparently got into an argument with a skunk over Easter weekend. We especially like "the show" which usually stars the dogs with our cat. The dogs really missed him while he was gone. They kept looking for him under the porch, then looking up at me, as to say, "where is he?"

ChrisV82 said...

I had a goldfish that I won at the city fair. I put it in my tropical fish tank, where it eventually grew and ate all of my other fish.

The little pest had no manners.

It never did eat the catfish, though, come to think of it.

marymaddux6272 said...

Nice to meet you and your family. Thanks for your kind words, for inviting us into your world and for all the good you and yours are doing.

 
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