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Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Ms. WW and the Neophobic

























Ms. Wordless Wednesday visits to pass judgment upon my offering. I should just like to point out first, to a few "person[s]" who may be in doubt, that I have a perfect "BBC English accent." If that's too tricky imagine that you are talking to the Queen of England.

“Well, that’s not too bad this week, maybe even a little cute?”
“You sound doubtful?”
“Well it would help if his eyes were open of course, but no, I just have this uneasy feeling that there may be some hidden agenda?”
“I never hide my agenda, I broadcast them.”
“Sad but true. Am I gonna have to guess?”
“You guessed right!”
“Dang! O.k. so this little guy is the one that doesn’t eat anything?”
“Right. Well sort of right."
"You always qualify your 'rights' with 'buts'!"
"'Buts' or 'butts'?"
"Stop teasing or I won't play."
"O.k. He does eat, fine strapping little chap that he is, just not the variety that a parent would wish for.”
“Which gives him that label, the neophobic label?”
“Right, someone who eats less than 20 foods. We have high hopes that he will graduate to ‘picky eater’ some time in the not too distant future.”
“When he gets to 21 foods?”
“Exactly. What a star you are!”
“That reminds me, I just have to ask. You said he eats seventeen things. What are those things?”
“Is this a ‘you show me yours and I’ll show you mine’ kind of a deal?”
“Less of the kinky foreigner stuff please!”
“Fair enough. So he eats squeezy yoghourt, bananas, fries, cereal, cookies, raisins, applesauce, Belgium chocolate pudding, chocolate cake, pretzels, pancakes, Nutella sandwiches and Goldfish.”
“Geez I knew that the Brits were Math challenged, but I’d have thought that even you could count to 13!”
“Ah yes. You’re right it is only 13.”
“So what’s with 17 crapolla!”
“Well we sort of mislaid a few recently.”
“Mislaid! How can you mislay 4 foods when you only eat 17!”
“Indeed, I can see there’s no chance of pulling the wool over your eyes.”
“So, where did they go? How come ya lost em? Getting careless in yur old age?”
“Well you see if you don’t ‘practice’ your foods …..”
“Use it or lose it?”
“Right.”
“So can I ask which ones you lost?”
“Jello, wieners, pasta and rice.”
“Oh couple of primary carbs there!”
“Verily. We’ve been toying with potatoes too. But we have conquered bread.”
“Conquered?”
“Yup, only one kind though.”
“’WE’ ? Sounds as if this lil guy’s the one doin all the work to me?”
“How alarmingly astute you are, as always.”
“Sure, I just feel that he should get the credit he deserves.”
“How true and observant.”
“You know my little brother only ever ate cereal, chips and pizza. Today he’s six foot.”
“Golly! Just those three?”
“Well beer now he's grown.”
“I wonder if mine will graduate to beer?”
“Tell you what, when he’s 21 we’ll split a keg.”
“Your generosity and support take my breath away. Such a weight off my mind.”
“Well ya know we all need a little love and understanding.”
“Sounds a little 60’s to me! Underneath it all, are you really a bit of a granola head?”
“Don’t use American terminology without warning me first! Geez I can almost hear your fake American accent!”
“Peace man! I love you guys.”






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6 comments:

Susan said...

Somehow I imagined this clever little dialogue as read by Colin Firth and Rene Zellweger. Nicely done. And I have to congratulate you on reviving the long-lost American gem "crapola." That word is unjustly absent from everyday conversation. Why don't we say it more often? Now to the food. Jello? Not a food. So I think perhaps you get a bit of wiggle room on an alternative. Oh and BTW, my verification word was "yakky," which seems fitting given the subject matter.

Self employed mum said...

Hi, you left a comment on my blog and I have been trying ever since to come over and see you, each time I have entered your blog my computer has frozen, today at last I have managed to get in to say hello, I will come back later as I'm supposed to be working and have a read. x

Birchsprite said...

Sounds very similar to my partners nephew... although he mostly lives on sausages and sauce (or chosages and chauce)

Scribbit said...

Hey thanks for the reminder. I could hear it that time. Or at least in a thick Cockney :)

Kidding.

david mcmahon said...

I think I have what I call a ``United Nations'' accent. Love the imaginary conversation with Her Maj!

Jeni said...

And in our house, the menu almost always requires pasta something or other. Lately, her request is to have "Nawdjewels" (noodles) and/or cookies or brownies. Cereal though is also an acceptable item, occasionally if the moon, stars and all the planets align, rice will fly too. Ain't mealtime fun though? Oh and for beverages - strawberry (or pink) milk is the high ranker now.

 
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