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Friday, January 25, 2008

Mwah Awards



"Michelle" over at "Scribbit" was kind enough to grant me this Mwah Award.

As some of you may already know "Scribbit" lives in Alaska, the frozen wastes, for her crimes. Although she is happy to tout the many benefits of her "Lifestyle" we know that it's all lies, or possibly just delusional. As we American's know, sadly, a few persons are required to man the outpost in Alaska, all of it, and it is the lot of poor "Scribbit" that she is condemned to eek out her existence with her family of snowpersons. Is it any wonder that the poor woman finds relief via blogging to the outside world. We hear you "Michelle" even if the lines are frozen.

Dear "Michelle" is also a technically challenged person like myself but I must give credit where it's due. I could no more fashion an igloo than crochet a rug, yet she has tirelessly toiled away to make an igloo of just the right height. From the photographs that she sometimes posts, the interior is remarkably well appointed with strategically placed focal features, like the fishing hole, ergonomically designed by her own fair hands.

Of course she spends most of her time, when not fishing and patching the igloo, engaged in the highly strenuous task of maintaining the snow men from Alaska to civilization. It is important to note that without the advantages of DSL, poor Michelle has to drape her dial up cable over miles of lines of snowmen to stop it dangling and kinking.








As all we American's also know, Alaskans speak a different language from us, we well tutored Americans.

Nobody really knows what it is, but luckily nobody really cares either, except occasionally, as now, when they send there lovely little awards out without the benefit of translations.

Try as I might, and believe me I have struggled hard, I have been unable to come up with even an approximate translation for MWAH.

Initially I assumed she meant 'Mountainous, Wet And Huge,' but that sounds vaguely rude and the use of 'mountainous' and 'huge' in the same sentence would constitute overkill. "Michelle" is a tall lass, and my common sense tells me that willowly statured women don't generally refer to smaller people as 'huge,' although I might just be an optical illusion.

I put my thinking cap on and spoke it aloud. It sounds, phonetically, as if you've just trod on the cat's tail, inadvertently of course. Why would frozen "Michelle" wish to send me the sound of a broken cat's tail? Well they're funny those little Alaskans, who can comprehend their icy musings?


I'm a little reluctant to pass on broken cat's tails to anyone. What would they think? My credibility as an American would be forever tarnished, lover of the planet, castigator of cats! Not a happy combination.

What else? Modern Wimmin Are Harridans would seem to hit the mark around here, but not very helpful when it comes to passing on such an award, since it would appear that I'm the only qualified candidate.

Anything else? My World's Always Home, sounds more like a life sentence in a padded cell and again, not useful in the passing on department.

Not so easy you see! May Wisdom Abide Here! sounds too much like wishful thinking than reality.

Rather than tease "Michelle" any more, I'll give her the benefit of the doubt and assume that she makes reference to those air kisses that those celebrity type women are so famous for. Since I wouldn't wish to air kiss my women friends as that's just not my style, it seems like a prime opportunity to kiss some men from afar, safe in the knowledge that I shall be protected from their better halves by the security of the blogosphere.

First, to my first male pal "Jerry" at "My Autistic Boy and Other Adventures in Fatherhood." I should, once again, point out that the ravashingly beautiful woman featured in the top right hand corner of his old site is not "Jerry" himself, but rather his lovely wife "Kim." Did we ever have some confusion to start off with!

Then to "Hammer" at "when your only tol is a hammer." This charming gent has nipped off on holiday with his wife, so whilst he's away, I would point you in the direction of this post entitled "Minor Cultural Differences" because it would appear that if you move around from one State to another you might experience some of the confusion that we foreigners experience.

Also to "Dan" from "Dan's Blah Blah Blog." Dan promised to picking up his blogging responsibilities but is sadly lagging behind a bit. I can't direct you to a specific post as his archives seem to have mysteriously disappeared.......I smell a book in the offing.


Another blog that I would cautious recommend would be "Pointless Drivel" where "Mr. Fabulous" himself sees fit to share his strongly worded opinions with us. In order to avoid the shock value of his more colourful pieces with accompanying language, I would respectfully suggest that you start here with his posting called "A couple of Convos" which means 'conversation' in American.


"White Noise and Random Thoughts"
has a great posting up, well for me at least. His post entitled "Hope Its" has given me my free fall hit that should last me out for the next few weeks and prevent me from leaping off the nearest cliff. Now if he's really in Antarctica, which I somehow doubt, he should have a great deal in common with Michelle.


Then there's "Furiousball" the super multi-talented music techy over at "In My Diatribe." Personally I have my doubts about this chap, it just seems so unlikely that he can not only play an instrument [or several] and teach this art to other people .......and be a techy? But fact is so often stranger than fiction. What miffed me more than anything else is that people, bloggers' are always sending him things, gifts of cookies and other goodies. A good place to start if you're a new visitor would be this post called "Zapped" because it is a good introduction to the complexity of our lives.


Then there's "Raj" over at "Radio Active Jam." A good place to start if you're either into puzzle or have the geek gene would be his post called "puzzleage." Yet another guy that receives gifts!



"Mr. Bloggerific" deserves more than a mention, but I'm reluctant to do him again as I've only just done him.........?........maybe I should rephrase? Anyway, over at "Your Packaging Sucks" he has a slightly rude post of the vagaries of the weather, which would seem appropriate to poor Scribbit. It's called "It's a cold night for alligators."


Next to "Steve" from "Steve's Nude Memphis Blog." Definitely have to be careful around this one as Steve has a tendency to blog both in the Nude and often rudely. Hence, just to be on the safe side, I would ever so politely direct your attention to this post titled "Reow" which is more apt than I could have wished for.

I shall be most interested to see what these gentlemen do with their award and who the lucky recipients might be, so let me know chaps?

Cheers dears

2 comments:

kyra said...

wow. i am so impressed that you read all the blogs that you do! i now dub you YE WITH THE EYES OF LIGHTENING!

MWAH always sounds like the sound a mad scientist makes, someone fierce with brilliance, bumpling over into mania, mischief and plain old fun. like jumping on the back of a snowball and riding the avalanche down the side of the mountain. exhilarating, dangerous but oh so EXCITING!

Whitenoise said...

Why, thank you very much for the blogging My, What A Hack award. I must say, I've worked very hard to work my way up from So Awful (and) Dreadful, and with any luck, by this time next year I will win Mundane And Run Of The Mill (MAROTM). I'd like to thank my parents, my neighbours, and of course, my agent...

 
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