Nutritional advice from the Neophobic

“Whatsup mum?”
“Nothing, I’m just thinking.”
“Dis is a boat! Dis is a boat! Dis is a boat!”
“Whataya thinking about?”
“Scorchio! Scorchio! Scorchio!”
“Dinner.”
“Ding ding, ding ding, ding ding.”
“For us?”
“There’s a name for people like you, there’s a name for people like you, there’s a name for people like you!” I pause to look at him, but he is elsewhere. I do not like to think where he has picked this up. I determine to find out where, later.
“Well just the three of us, not your little brother of course.”
“Eat yur veggies! Eat yur veggies! Eat yur veggies!”
“What are you cookin in the microwave then?”
“Go Mario go! Go Mario go! Go Mario go! “
‘Homework.”
“Ready for battle! Ready for battle! Ready for battle!”
“Homework?”
“No receipt, no returns!”
“He spilled his water on it, again.”
“Never say never! Never say never! Never say never!”
“Yur cookin his homework?”
“Everyone’s a winner! Everyone’s a winner! Everyone’s a winner!”
“Yes, it works a treat, although it is a bit crinkly.”
“Stripy eggs, spotty eggs, coloured eggs.”
“What’s he havin to eat tonight?”
“Easter baskets, Easter bonnets, Easter Butts.”
“A little brown rice, half a banana and some chocolate pudding if I can find a second to make it.”
“Chocolate pudding! Chocolate pudding! Chocolate pudding!”
"What are we havin?"
“Pasta. I'm just not sure whether to have tomatoe soup first or Minestrone first?”
“Dis year or next year, dis year or next year, dis year or next year.”
“Don’t matter, I like em both!”
“Nice water pipe! Nice water pipe! Nice water pipe!”
“Yes but there’s a problem.”
“Easter bunnies, Christmas bunnies, St. Patrick’s Day bunnies.”
“What?”
“Mama Mia! Mama Mia! Mama Mia!”
“You can’t have Minestrone before a pasta dish because it has pasta in it already and you can’t have tomatoe soup before because you have tomatoe sauce on your pasta.”
“Cheese nip! Cat nip! Nip and tuck!”
“So what? I mean, why, what difference does it make?”
“Gratuity not included! Gratuity not included! Gratuity not included!”
“Because you’d be having the same thing twice over.”
“Pot of gold, pot of gold, pot of gold.”
“So….I mean why?”
“Mario said it! Mario said it! Mario said it!”
“Well it’s hardly balanced is it?”
She looks at me with a blank stare, as well she might. Sometimes it's so hard to think straight, or even wonky. My son pauses too, a brief respite for motor mouth, before he offers his contribution, “but at least they are be match!”