England is Evil

Don’t get me wrong, I’m delighted that he feels able to express his viewpoint verbally. I’d just prefer it if he could be a little more circumspect, especially whilst we happen to be in England. I’m sympathetic to many of his complaints, that the milkshakes are too small and that weather is too big, but loud mouthed Americans are just to much of a cliché, even for him.

Handy travel hint of the day – to ensure that your suitcases are fresh for next year, tuck a tumble drier sheet inside before storage. Take care to assess whether or not tumble drier sheets should be eliminated from your life style, along with the tumble drier to reduce your carbon footprint on the planet. Should you suffer the misfortune of someone vomiting in your suitcase, admit defeat and chuck away the suitcase, carbon footprint be damned. Be grateful that your brain torture has ceased and that the mysterious stench is no longer mysterious. Don’t forget to thank the thoughtful child that shut the suitcase after use.

Normal service shall be resumed as soon as humanly possible.