Thursday Thirteen - Homework strategies

Thirteen Things about Homework Strategies N.B. Supper and or food are not a strong group motivator. N.B.B. ‘Electronics Time’ = 30 minutes play on the Gameboy/Ninendo DS/telly, are currently the only group motivators. This shall be a scientifically controlled experiment, a longitudinal study. We are currently experimenting:- 1. Ensure that all supplies are within easy reach together with duplicates. Add calming music, visual timers, fidgets, kooshes, ‘Take a Break’ PECs[*] to pre-empt meltdowns, four kinds of pencil grips, spill proof snacks for motivation, additional oral stimulants, tether bands for restless agitated legs, sequencing and tick down charts to aid task completion and reduce overwhelmedness. Restock Duct Tape Rolls to secure each child to carver chair. 2. Introduce LOST [*] = ‘Let Off Steam Time’ upon returning home. Now that they can play and also spend periods of time outside, this seems a therapeutic and fun option. Between play time and ‘electronics’ time at 5:30, they must complete their homework[1] and make their packed lunches[2]. 3. As above except electronics time is moved to any time after [1] and [2] are completed, ideally before supper at 7:00 p.m. 4. As above except electronics time is either moved to just before bedtime or eliminated completely as [1] and [2] are not completed and everyone is asleep. Note to self = no electronics time means no time to cook. Children go to bed on the edge of starvation. Balance risk of starvation against time and money saving benefits of a food free existence. 5. Move homework time to after supper . As they are so desperate to avoid bed, they may just be more willing to do homework instead. Note to self – stock up on midnight oil. 6. Seek an alternative to ‘everyone sitting around the same table.’ E.g. each child in different location to be simultaneously assisted and guided by the homework monitor, me. Consider purchasing roller skates for more efficient movement inter alia, and sum. 7. Seek an alternative alternative to ‘everyone sitting around the same table.’ E.g. Homework monitor with child A, one on one, whilst B and C spin their wheels or create mayhem. 8. Instigate positive reward system. One completed worksheet equates to one Goldfish Cracker. Take care not to disintegrate into ‘one word per cracker.’ If we descend to ‘one letter per Cracker,’ I shall snap, crackle and pop. Should the ‘cruel and unusual punishment’ clause be amended? 9. Consider converting the attic into a dedicated homework station, or in the alternative, a very good place to hide, for me. 10. Re-introduce "Kinesthetic" learning programmes and expand. 11. Petition Board of Governors to permit children to attend after school homework club. Send gift to each Governor prior to petition. Hire baby sitter and visit after school homework club to see how the professionals do it. Send gift to professionals prior to subtle infiltration of club. 12. Move homework time to first thing in the morning as they wake between 5 a.m. and 6 a.m. and this is their most alert time of the day. They are also extremely hungry and willing to consume half a 12ounce box of cereal. Note to self:- quaff additional vat of coffee prior to 5 a.m. 13. Ask the teacher for a special dispensation, a permanent free pass to excuse us from homework otherwise, I shall be steamed rather than LOST[*]? This is where I am currently hiding, if you want me for anything that is to say.

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