I have moved over to WhittereronAutism.com. Please follow the link to find me there. Hope to see you after the jump! :)

Thursday, March 22, 2007

The Basic principles of parenting

You only need to know one. The one principle that all parents need to know and apply is ‘consistency.’ It’s better for the parent, it’s perfect for the child. If the child happens to be autistic, then woe betide the parent that quibbles with the undoubted soundness of this GOLDEN rule. The parent of the autistic child must apply the same consistent rules to that child several thousands of times, preferably in the same manner to avoid confusion. [most probably of the parent] Should you, the parent, be tempted to deviate from this course, then you only have yourself to blame when the whole house of cards comes crashing down upon your head. I know more than a few parents have difficulty with this first and most basic of steps, but it behoves us all to heed these words well. There can be no back sliding, no namby pamby, weak willed spineless parenting styles.

I return home with renewed fortitude to conquer rather than tread water. I have envelops to push, campaigns to promote and the determination to follow through even if it kills me. Oh yes, there is nothing like a 7 minute emergency trip for milk at 7/11 [translation = almost the corner shop] to recharge a parent’s batteries.

I step inside just in time to catch the youngest speech delayed one as he scampers out of the bathroom, naked. Yes, naked again due in part to "tactile defensiveness," which in turn, is part of the "sensory integration" issue, because few things are simple or straight forward any more. This is a task, that we seem to have been working on forever. Apart from the speech delay, and the use of language, for current purposes it is a three part 'problem': "sequencing," [going through the same steps in the right order] "ideation," [being able to visualise the end result] and of course, my friend and yours, "task completion," [getting to the end.]

I hold him gently by the forearms, turn his body towards mine, find my cheerleader voice, pause, to ensure that I have his attention and say the same words that I have already said too many times to mention today, “clothes on dear!” He sighs as his body slumps, chin to chest, so that he is better able to gird his bare loins and growl. Suddenly his body snaps to attention, the soles of his feet stomp on the floor as he says, with rigid arms and spiked fingers, “ya know, you need to use dah different words! Dowz words are soooooo boring.” His chest pops out towards my chin, just enough to tip me over backwards onto my bottom. In this position I am better able to watch him depart, squealing, “run, run, run as fast as you can, you can’t catch me I’m the Gingerbread man!”

It's a shame that we can't use the American equivalent, but of course it doesn't rhyme. Nevermind either version is probably a good quote for a neophobic.

4 comments:

Kelly Wolfe said...

That's so cute that he was bored with the same words...true about using the same words though.. I got lazy/tired in reading a story to my son and cut out some of the words on the page, thinking he'd never know the difference. but he got REALLY mad, because he'd heard that story so many times and knew there was more to it...
They teach us a lot.. sigh.

Lisa

Anonymous said...

The school still hasn't learnt that rule yet.

Especially since I have a 2nd year teaching teacher for my eldest who had her half days last year her first year....

I guess that's why they have stopped calling to complain since they aren't getting any sympathy from me or their PDD teacher (she goes school to school to fix programming etc... they see her about twice/mth)

Jerry Grasso said...

I hear task completion is an urban legend. Kids = task completion? Huh? :-)

Jerry

kristina said...

Charlie loved the gingerbread man too----especially the running away business and that sly defiance: "Can't catch me, I'm da ginnerbed man!" Perfect picture choices---

 
AddThis Social Bookmark Button