I have moved over to WhittereronAutism.com. Please follow the link to find me there. Hope to see you after the jump! :)

Saturday, April 05, 2008

Safe landing for the space cadet

The friendship between my youngest daughter and her pal has a dire effect on my family’s well being, or rather my "own sanity."

My eldest daughter, an impartial third party, takes me in hand. After a year in Mozambique, her negotiating skills are finely honed. As she has spent her teenage years in America, she is also far more clued into the locals.

“So what are you saying? Do you think this woman is the wicked witch of the west or merely a "space cadet?”

“Um…..the latter.”

“O.k. so you’ve got to stop pussy footing around and lay down the law.”

“I never get the chance!” I bleat.

“You’ve got the grab the bull by the horns, make the time and have it out with her.”

“It’s easier said than done.”

“I bet she’s got not idea that you feel like this.”

“You think?”

“Well if you talked to her you’d find out wouldn’t you. She probably hasn’t got a clue what a pain in the ass this all is. I bet she hasn’t got a clue about autism either.”

“Hmm, maybe.”

“There’s no maybe about it. You never used to be such a wimp.”

“I’m not a wimp! I’m just…….exhausted.”

“Hardly surprising with all those hoops you’ve been leaping through!”

“I suppose I just don’t want to mess it up. It just takes to much energy to carve out some more time to think about it properly.”

“There’s nothing to think about. It’s a no brainer mum. Next time she comes, drag her into the house and talk to her, explain it to her, no-one on the planet is going to be that dense.”

“You think?”

“You don’t have to be mean about it. The boys have a routine, without it there’s chaos. Yes to playdates but pre-arranged, no more ambushes and no more sleep overs. Play dates are a privilege remember?”

“Are they?”

“Yes. They always were for me! Do your homework, do your chores, behave well and the reward is the playdate.”

“Is that how it works?”

“Worked for me. Those were your rules and we stuck to them for all the years I was growing up!”

“Ah and look how great you turned out! But it’s just not practical. How can I have a private conversation with her when there are five children roaring around the house unsupervised. Would you consider looking after them for me perhaps?”



“Include the kids. Let them see that this is how adults behave, they talk about things and figure out a solution.”

“Good grief! How did I ever produce such a clever woman as you?”

“So you’ll do it?”

“I shall.”

I did.

Today I am also over "here" at "Trusera" with "Positive Reinforcement."

Also with another post called "Speech Delays."

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