Idaho or bust! Or possibly somewhere else?

“Aha! There you are. The very man I’ve been looking for.”
“Really? Are there any other men around here?”
“?.......of for goodness sakes.”
“Well?”
“No.”
“So what did you want me for anyway?”
“I’ve hit a brick wall.”
“Oh dear! Much damage to the car?”
“?.......not literally you humbug.”
“?”
“It’s no good! I’ve been trying all day but no luck. I’ve shopped everywhere. They can’t be had for love nor money.”
“Oh. Shopping? Everywhere?”
“Yes. Landsend, Target and Amazon. You name it, I’ve looked!”
“E-bay?”
“No. You have to use Paypal and haven’t quite mastered that yet.”
“Well……I don’t know what to suggest?”
“They go up to size 5T but you can’t find any for a seven year old.”
“I thought you said this morning that you’d make some if you couldn’t buy any?”
“I did, but then I thought about it a bit.”
“And?”
“If I send a seven year old to school in home made blue dungarees, with egg yellow buttons the size of an egg cup, he’ll be beaten to a pulp.”
“Well it would help if you searched on coveralls or overalls.”
“I did! I couldn’t remember the right word first but eventually…Although I’ve not been able to find a dictionary that translates “English to American” yet.”
“Still no joy?”
“No.”
“What about those pictures you see of children out in the fields with potatoes and sheep and things?”
“Cattle or Longhorns, not sheep.”
“Not sheep?”
“No of course not. You know Americans! If you so much as mention ‘lamb chop’ they all have a fit of the vapours.”
“True. But out in the countryside they’re all gamboling about in dungarees.”
“Boon dogs! Or is that urban? Maybe Hicksville?”
“Don’t ask me?”
“Well what are we going to do?”
“Ditto.”
“Fair enough, if that’s the sum total of your assistance I shall expect you to get him dressed tomorrow.”
“No! It took you ages this morning. I thought I was going to have to take him in the nuddy.”
“Exactly. Hence we need a pair of overalls by tomorrow morning if we’re not going to have to repeat that particularly painful exercise.”
“Hmm. Why do you think he’s so obsessed with looking like Mario all of a sudden?”
“It’s just another one of little burrs just waiting to jump out of the bushes and latch on.”

“So what are we going to do?”
“I’ll tell him I’m still looking.”
“Yes, it helps to be truthful.”
“But after he saw that costume on-line, I think we’re more or less done for.”
“It’s a racket. Fancy charging $70 for an adult costume and $100 for a child’s. It’s day light robbery.”
“Exploitation.”
“So our solution is?”
“That’s what I was hoping you could help me with?”
“Do you still have his old pair?”
“Er…..probably.”
“Couldn’t you tack something on to the end of the legs, make them longer?”
“Ooo dear me no. I don’t want to sink back to the 70’s nightmare. That really would be a curse for the child.”

Excellent Awards

"Shellie" over at "Little but Loud" has very kindly given me this 'excellent' awards. Clearly poor "Little but Loud" is slightly delusional because everyone knows that at best, I only ever score F for failure or a tad bit futile. There again since we are both donating our brains for scientific research maybe I should cut her a little slack.

So first up we have "Melody" at "Slurping Life." "Melody" is so hopeless optimistic that it makes my toes curl. She's already had one of these [I was a bit late in the starting block] but there's no harm in confirming her superiority. Now there's a woman that could do with a huge dollop of scepticism, but she's unstoppable. Nip over there and stop her at this post called "These are the times when you know."

Another super dooper blogger is "Angela" over at "Memoirs of a Chaotic Mommy." Things are definitely chaotic over there as her blog template is on the blink, true agony indeed. I'm seriously in debt to her, indeed I may very well be partly to blame for her chaos as she has been fiddling about making custom awards for me to hand out to other people. That's real super star skills as far as I'm concerned. In the meantime, if you are new to her blog then her post called "You're all it" because it makes for a great visual introduction.

Then to "The Other Lion." Many life times ago, I was a divorced single mum. I had the support and comfort of my family but I remember how 'going it alone' really was. Whilst my circumstances are completely different now, I find it helpful to hang on to some of those memories so that I don't get too high handed. If this is a new place for you, then you might like to start off here with her post called "Picture Meme" because we visual learners love them and they also make for great introductions.

Another good place to visit is "Sarah" at "The Nefariouspoo of Sarah," I mean who could resist such a title? Such has such a full plate, but handles it with charm, strength and patience. Whilst I have been known to moan in my time "Sarah" advocates in an entirely different manner. Would that we were all so "gracious."

Then to "Catherine" at "Kitchen Table Math, the sequel." Yes I know it's very strange for me to even mention the word maths, but this is a real stonker of a blog. The only problem is, that you have to have a really huge brain to benefit from this site which disqualifies me instantaneously. I rarely comment there because I really don't need to advertise my 'thicky, thikcy, dumb, dumb' status quite so publicly. If you have a gifted child then there are lots of ideas here. If you have a quirky child then again, there are lots of ideas here. If however, you are a lesser being such as myself, you can always do what I do, hide underneath the kitchen table and earwig, you never know, we might just learn something over "here."

Also for "Mum keeping sane" over at "It's all okay." as both of those phrases run through my brain all too frequently. So you know that phrase 'if you can't say anything nice, then don't say anything at all'? well nip along here to her post called "When the juggler drops the ball," for a quick reminder, and yes she is a wonderful mum.

Then to "r.b." [I think I should keep that anonymous but let me know if I've made a mistake] over at "Hard Won Wisdom." Many of us are educators in a way, but some people just do it so much better. If this is a new blog for you, then get your toes tapping and whiz along to her post called "nerd fighters happy dance project," how can you resist!

Also to "Kristina Chew" over at "Autism Vox." Yes I know it's another autism blog for goodness sake and yes she does have the biggest brain on the blogosphere [and possibly off the blogosphere too] I think her blog was the first one I was ever brave enough to comment upon, so you might be able to be brave too. Her writing style keeps us all up to date and you can enjoy a little "geekdom" if you're more comfortable with that option, called "I think therefore I google."

Cheers dearies

Excellent Award I

"Mid-Lifer" over at "Navigating a midlife crisis" has very kindly given me this natty little award. I was a little worried at first, as I suspected that it was an 'E' for 'exercise,' as nominated 'to go out and run about a bit' award. Perish the thought!

So first of all I'd like to pass it on to "Chelle" at "Crazy Thoughts" a misnomer if ever I heard one!
I don't think I could pay enough for that kind of crazy. If you're new to her blog then I would [respectfully] suggest that you poke about here on her post entitled "I am beautiful." I would have to admit that I haven't actually bought this book but I think it behoves all of us, who are parents of girl children, to give this important matter some serious thought. Ban the Barbies that's what I say! But Chelle says it so much better[er!].

Moving on, has anyone managed to avoid "Casdok" over at "Mother of Shrek" yet? You have! Then shame on you! No matter, it's not too late to make amends, you can whizz on over there now, but if you're a bit of a cowardy custard, wary of 'British Humour,' then you can very safely start off at this post of hers called "Hungry," but doooo be careful. Make sure that you've had a snack first!

A newbie one for me, but none the less excellent for that, is "Mary the Teach" over at "Work of the Poet." Now to be fair, I'm not entirely happy to hand out an award to a teacher than comes in the form of an 'E' as it seems far too close to an 'F' for fail, but that's the Alphabet for you. If this is a new one for you too, then you could do a lot worse than start over here at her post called "Things I've giving up for Lent." [that's a lie of course as it's a Thursday 13 thingy, but it's a great introduction, especially for us visual learners.]

Then to "Heidi" at "Viking Conquest" and "Family Adventure." The woman is a tower of strength but all too human, in the nicest possible way of course! If you've not had the energy to visit her yet, then a good spot to start would be this post called "And the weather Forecast calls for..." partly because it makes me feel homesick and partly because it's someone else's take on life in Britland.

It's hard to work out who has the biggest brain when it comes to blogging about the topic of autism, but "Autism Diva" would be right up there. I expect that if your life hasn't been touched by autism then you may not have come across this blog before. It that's the case then a gentle introduction would be this video where lots of "our kiddie winkies frolic."

Another relatively new place for me is "Mrs. Wibbs" over at "Wibzways." She and her busy family sizzle through their days in just the kind of laid back way that I aspire to, but can't manage very often. If it's new for you too, then a good place to start would be here in her post called "Wise Fun," where she's more than captured a few corkers.

So how many is that? Six? O.k. one more there for the perfect 7.

So it's over to "Three and Holding" where "Janet" does a mighty find job of steering her fine family in the right direction. I of course am a little biased but I'm fairly confident that other myopic persons such as myself, could benefit greatly from this post of hers called "I can see clearly now," where you too can try out a zillion different frames, or failing that, vote for which pair she should really have bought.


Cheers dearies.

Awards - less than three

"Kelley" over at "Magnetoboldtoo" has every so kindly given me this absolutely spiffing little award which she made herself!!!

This is how she describes it:-

"Now the explanation. When the girls and I want to express our mutual admiration in public we say ‘Less than Three’. If you look at it sideways:

<3

It looks like a heart. So I heart you.

And I do. Every one of you. Even the lurkers."

So it's my turn to share. I'm glad she pointed out that I don't have to award to to 28 people as that's way beyond my capabilities but maybe if I keep it brief? Maybe people touched by autism that aren't on the Hub would be a good place to start.

First to "Grace Under Autism."
2. "Judith"
3. "Kristenspina"
4. "Kyra"
5. "Gretchen"
6. "Cristine"

7. "Kal"
8. "Lisa Jo Rudy"
9. "Julie"
10. "Bonnie"
11. "Jen P"
12. "One March Day"
13. "Autism's Edges"
14."Another Autism Mom"
15. "Redhead Momma"
16. "Autista"
17. "Mom to JBG"
18. "Cottontales."
19 "Mom to Mr. Hansom"
20. "Karianna"
21. "Mum without a Manual"
22. "Lora"
23. "Tulip Mom"
24. "Kirsten"
25. "Queen of Shake Shake"
26. "Autism Schmatism"
27. "Christina"
28. "Drama Mama"

Hmm, maybe this wasn't such a good idea afterall. It's been a tough week here with everyone on holiday. There are so many autism blogs which really ought to be on my blogroll apart from the fact that I can't figure out how to do that. I thought I'd wait until the new blog was up and running and do it then, but it's even more difficult on the new blog.

I am of course the 'cut and paste' Queen, but printing out other people's blogrolls and sticking them on the computer with glue isn't working for me.

So I think I'll stop now and spend some time trying to work out the blogroll nightmare instead. So if you're not included yet please don't take offense. Instead you could leave your URL behind or the URL of autism blogs that you like [and possibly some blogroll hints to point me in the right direction for Wordpress!]






Cheers dearies

Awards with Bling!

I'll tell you one thing for free, I'm beginning to understand the purpose of these awards as they certainly boost my morale.

I really don't know what's happening around my home at the moment and these awards make me happy to escape reality.

Reality at the moment seems to be turning me into an all day random day care facility. Only a couple of weeks ago another mum and I agreed that it would be lovely for the girls to get together for a playdate. We had a playdate here. Then we had another play date here. Now we are having another play date her. A pal is coming for a pre-arranged play date this afternoon.

Less than five minutes ago, a Dad pulled into the roadside, opened the car door and tossed his daughter out. We watched from the window. He didn't even pause to see whether she went safely from the gate to the door, or whether the door opened, or whether she went inside, or whether she was greeted by a Grizzly bear! Don't even get me started on the reciprocal side of things, not that I'm counting of course. Perish the thought! Come one, come all seems to be the motto of the moment.

Now where was I?

Ah yes, Awards with Bling!

It sounds like an menu item with something on the side! But there you go, that's just me. My pal over at "Around the Island" has been kind enough to sent me this very neat [that means tidy] award. What does 'neat' really mean out here anyway? I hear it so often although fortunately it's not affected my household yet. You can check out her blog and her family's antics at "Around the Island." I'm very impressed with these people who can combine a post with an awards ceremony!

So now it's my turn to send a little sanity out there through the ether. First to "Delilah" over at "Floating in Space." If you've not visited before, then you might like to start here on her post called "A goal." Don't worry it has nothing to do with English football.

Then to "Joey Mom" over at "My Life with Joey." She's down with the flu like everyone else at the moment, but this post called "addicted" applies to just about all of us. There again, if you're more of a shopping type, then you might prefer "here."

Also to "Kassiane" over at "Rhettdevil," now that I've found her blog again rather than whizzing off to that strange blue page that never changes. [what a twit I am!] If you're a newbie I would suggest you start here on her post called "Thank you," just you were in any doubt about the power of blogging.

Next to "Joker" at "The Musings of a Lurcher" not to be confused with a 'lurker.' This is for all you doggy fans who wish your pup could talk. A good place to start would be over here in her posting called "In the doghouse," as we've all been there once in a while.

I think I'll pause there as I forgot to save this half way through and therefore mislaid the other three! I refuse to get hung up on the number seven.


I am back again [6 hours later, post play date]

So over to "FXS Mom" at "Fragilex." She's one of the troopers that still visits my old Black and White blog. You never know, maybe I can lure her over to the new one! If this is a new site for you then you might like to start here at her post "What kind of Cartoon Animal Are You?" coz those are always fun unless you end up being the Tasmanian Devil!

Then to "Corky" from "Corky's log." If you need a baby fix [go on, we all need one every now and again!] then nip along to "boy small," but if you're really a hard hearted cynic like myself, then start of here as this makes a great introduction to "Corky Shares from the heart."

Do you know how I know that the play date is over? Well, I know because 45 minutes after pick up time passed, a car pulled up outside the gate, honked the horn, the play date pal fled from the house and they zoomed away in a pile of dust and a scattering of gravel. I assume they are late but my milk of human kindness begins to curdle!

Don't you just love 'normal' behaviour?

Maybe I should rename my blog = "Grumpy 24/7"

At least it's saved me the bother of making an appointment at the tattoo parlour so that I can permanently plant 'twit' on my forehead.

Ooo a quick international question from the ever so slightly confused [take pity on me!]

When you send your child to someone else's house for a sleepover do you expect:-

a] a bed with linen to be provided

b] a mattress and sleeping bag to be provided

c] send your child with their own sleeping equipment

d] none of the above

Cheers dearies

luvvies

"Joey's Mom" over at "Joey and Mom" gave me this delightful award! Which is a shame really as she's clearly completely missed 99% of my moaning. Obviously I need to address this oversight and moan more often and more loudly, so that no-one is able to miss the misery that I exist in.


Just the other day, Valentine's Day ironically enough, I had a list of moans so long that they're enough to fill any heart shaped vessel you can find.

That day was blustery and sunny but those buffeting gusts were enough to get the little one all aerated when he was still inside, protected from the weather. I avoided the candy overload and found spongy mail box kits that I thought might bring a smile. Did they smile? Well eventually, but only after we'd recovered from the glue meltdown, the wrong flavoured chocolate meltdown and the cookies don't match meltdown.

In my next life I shall return as someone who can manufacture sameness without thinking! Not only that, I will ensure that this super power will be available to me first thing in the morning, every morning, as that was only during the first two hours of the day, before sunrise.

On the plus side we had the 'I can wear this two foot stoker hat' to school today breakthrough, [ popular with the teacher, I'm sure] also the 'I can wear the disgusting shoes today because I can't find my usual shoes today' hurdle, and the 'I can sit next to the vase of roses with pokey thorns' triumph!

I am so glad that roses have no perfume these days. [to say nothing of the ability to 'sit.']

Now I'm happy to pass this on to "Crystal" at "Crystal Jigsaw" I expect most people are familiar with her sight, but if not, a good spot to start to give you a bouillon cube of Crystal, would be here in her post called "Getting up to alsorts." I chose this one because I've never liked treacle, I much prefer sweet and sour.


Also to "Aliki" at "Tag teaming it or a world of one thousand different things." [put me right here dearie, I never know what to do with blogs that seem to use two names!] I was pleased to learn that she actually been blogging for 2 years. 2 years is amazing to me. I was also pleased to read her post called "Do good work," as I think it has useful advice for all of us bloggers.

Next to "Blogantagonist" at "Blogs are Stupid." In particular, her post called "On Strike." I like it because I share a similar ambivalence to food production. I love cooking, but I have a hard time with the response around here and I also want my children to be self sufficient, which they won't be if I keep doing everything for them!http://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gif

Then to "The Domestic Goddess." If this one is a new one for you and you happen to be male, then this would be the ideal spot to start, "12 things I've learned."

Also to "Jessica" at "Mom 2 Boys." All parents share a delight in hearing their children talk for the first time when they're babies. Sometimes other parents have to wait a bit longer. Other parents have stopped waiting. Non-verbal, is such a catch all term. Sometimes it can be hours or days between a word or words. A few parents enjoy the gobsmack late in the day as you can see "here." I can still remember how their first spontaneous speech affected me too.

Then to "frogpondsrock" and her lovely photographs. Actually on second thoughts, lets skip the photos and go green instead with this post of hers here called "Clean up and Green up." Maybe mother nature will take pity on me!

I leave this one until last for a reason. "Suzy" over at "Identity Crisis" has another post up. I cannot describe what she has written and I could barely comment either. I don't know how many of us are parents, fearful parents. "Suzy's" subject matter is staggeringly sobering for me. I certainly don't wish to add to anyone's current level of paranoia but "awareness" is what it's all about for me, much as I would prefer to stick my head in the sand. I read, I learn, I try not to "weep."

Lastly on a lighter note, I should like to take this opportunity to publicly apologise to anyone I have inadvertently referred to as 'a little gem.' As my son pointed out to me this morning, many people may object to being called a 'lettuce.'

Thurs - Corruption - Daydream believer

I make pancakes in the kitchen on a Sunday morning. Every few seconds I hear another word bellowed from far away ‘bulbous’……..’bouffant’………’gazebo’……….’shindig’……..’whale’… 'macadamnia' ....….’wubber’……’beluga’……….’’galloshes’……’Wario’………There are several more of them, but those are the only ones I can remember, the only bits of the puzzle available to my tiny brain. I’m not able to make any sense of them, but each word is followed by a shriek that definitely falls into the humourously amused category.

I think of all the toys that we left out the night before. Instead of ‘tidying time’ they were allowed a stay of execution, or rather the toys were. The elaborate conglomerate was permitted to cover the floor and most of the furniture for an additional 24 hours, negotiable.

Today, the game continues. To have a game, any game, pretend or otherwise, extend beyond the statutory 10 nano seconds, is to be encouraged, nurtured and permitted to be ‘messy’ for longer that I am comfortable. Not so much deck the halls but booby trap the floors.

I continue my conveyor belt production of pancake for the masses. I am tied to the hot plate and cannot leave it unattended. Even at the age they are now, there is always the possibility of the unexpected, the unpredictable.

He yells at his brother and sister who skip off to see what has him entranced. I amazed that they respond. I am amazed that he called them, a request for joint attention is always applauded, so fresh, so new, so amazing. With all of them now in one location, far away from the hot plate I can follow the guffaws of laughter to the hall.

In the hall they all crowd around the computer. I need to become computer savvy and "internet savvy" if I am to be able to protect them. Suddenly I am grossly aware of their development and the trend ahead. If anyone doubles back, I’ll be able to intervene, stop them from getting access to the hot plate. The lure of U-tube is inescapable for this generation.

My youngest son is doubled up, almost on, or maybe off the chair. The other two observe the screen, the internet, a Mario clip. I watch. I can hardly hear a word as both the boys screech together, joint attention if ever I saw it. My daughter turns to me and raises an eyebrow, just like my brother, her uncle, a sceptic, a non believer. I wait a few moments more, just to be on the safe side, that the clip isn’t going to sink into p.orn or violence or some other horror. It doesn’t. He hits replay. She raises her arms to let them flop down to her sides, a gesture of disbelief.

I slip an arm around her shoulder to guide her back to the family room. We leave the boys locked in.

I pour more batter on the hot plate. I suspect it’s a boy thing. The clip is not in the category of humour for me, nor her. For my boys the clip definitely rates a 10, "hilarious." The days of innocence are withering, I can't hide in a different era. I need to protect my own little "monkeys."

Intimidation

I remove the last of the safety devices on the last drawer in the kitchen. I can’t recall how much that particular mistake cost, but I know that it was extravagant. The things I wanted to be secure such as the fridge and the oven, could not be secured.

Back then chaos ruled and nothing was secure, least of all my own brain. I knew that something was amiss but I was unable to pin down what it was, exactly or even partially. I suspected that I had made a serious error of judgment, that I was simply too old to have three young children. Their dad worked for a start up, which roughly translates to involuntary servitude. Guilt made him indulgent. “Of course, get someone in to install child locks on everything and damn the cost.” Ultimately, it was of no help, but at the time it seemed like a solid investment.

I can recall the man who came to the house quite vividly. We had lived in America for about 6 years. Although my memory is unreliable, I don’t remember meeting anyone during that time who was unfriendly. My knowledge of Americans was limited, but if he was Californian, then I was a chicken. He wandered around my house slowly with a casual air of disdain.

Usually, when someone came to fix something, the fixer would remain in one place fixing something whilst I charged around herding. This was different. I had to accompany him and give detailed instructions as to what was to be secured and what did not. He ran his finger over every surface and looked in every door and drawer with distaste and impatience. I had never met an unfriendly American, nor had I ever invited such a person into my home. I tried to hold an intelligent conversation with him, over the din of my very loud and wild children. I carried one or other of them alternately. If I was the sun, then my planets were in close orbit at all times. His disapproval was palpable.

As I hauled the children upstairs they wailed all the more loudly. My explanation "we don't tend to go upstairs during the day time," sounded ludicrous even to my own ears. "Whadaya want a gate for then?" he sneered.
"So that they can't escape at night time," seemed equally bizarre.

As he left, his passing shot was, “I’ll send the estimate in the mail, but nothing will secure your kids more than good parenting.”

I was mortified and chastised in one icy breath.

But that was then, and this is now. I put all the locks in a bag together with their screws and fitments, enough to secure Fort Knox, nearly all of them broken as my son approaches.

"What you are do?"
"Just taking off the old baby locks dear."
"We dun be needen em no more?"
"Nope, I think we're safe enough, just as we are."

Wordy Wednesday – feeling blue

Ms. Wordy Wednesday pops along to say hi de ho to me.

“Cute! He draws quite well. Glad he’s conquering his dislike of pencils. The paint must have been quite a challenge too.”
“Ooo you have such a good memory.”
“So that’s it then?”
“Of course not.”
“Clues?”
“Title.”
“You’re very curt today!”
“Ski week.”
“Ski week?”
“They’re all off school for a week.”
“Skiing?”
“In my dreams!”
“So um title……..expressing feelings and emotions perhaps?”
“Very good indeed.”
“He’s happy, hence the rainbow?”
“Actually that was a bit deceptive of me. I wanted to talk about depression.”
“Oh. Not exactly my field of expertise.”
“Me neither.”
“So are you feeling a bit down?”
“Not me, him.”
“Which one?”
“The little one.”
“How old is he again?”
“7.”
“7! Can you be "depressed" at 7?”
“Actually he’s had periods of depression since he was about 3.”
“3? Are you sure, I mean, ….how do you know? Has he been diagnosed by a doctor?”
“No, it’s just my best guess really.”
“Hmm it’s not that I doubt you exactly, ……it’s just that…..I’ve never heard of that before and………if a doctor hasn’t diagnosed him then…….well…..it just seems a little unlikely………doesn’t it?”
“I tend to agree with you.”
“So what makes you think he’s depressed?”
“Well he went to an early intervention class when he was little for a couple of mornings a week. Sometimes, every few weeks, he became unresponsive. He sat in his chair, a rarity in itself, and just wept silent tears.”
“Ooo dear.”
“The staff would ask him what was wrong and he either wouldn’t answer or just say that he was sad.”
“That is sad.”
“He’d just be all floppy.”
“Not ill perhaps?”
“Nope, nothing like that, just inert.”
"How....unusual."
"He'd stop eating too, couldn't even be tempted by Goldfish Crackers."
"Really serious then!"
"And of course he became nocturnal."
"Nocturnal?"
"Actually, not nocturnal, just awake all the time. No sleeping at any time."
"That must have been exhausting."
"It was a terrible worry because he'd wander around all night and I was concerned that I wouldn't be able to help him if I simply keeled over myself."
“What did you do about it?”
“Well at first……to be honest, nothing really. I had no experience of depression and we were still trying to learn all about autism.”
“Geez.”
“I did remember that the physician who first diagnosed him said to consider medications because many autistic people suffer from depression, especially in their teenage years and had very high suicide rates.”
“He told you that then!”
“Yes, it felt like another slap in the face at the time but thinking back it helped me join the dots.”
“So how often does this happen?”
“Less frequently actually. It used to be every two or three months and last for 3 to 5 days.”
“And nowadays?”
“A few times a year few days.”
“So now he can talk more, do you get any more clues?”
“Broadly speaking, it all boils down to self esteem.”
“Self esteem! In a 7 year old!”
“I know it sounds daft, but so much of it is feelings of worthlessness.”
“Geez Maddy I don’t know what to say.”
“That’s o.k. I don’t really know either. We just do the same for all of them, help them achieve small things that are really huge for them and make sure that they know that we understand and appreciate just how difficult some things are for them.”
“I think we should be doing that for all kids anyway.”
“How right you are.”

On a practical note, there are a few 'techniques' [how I hate that word!] that have proved helpful for my children. The first would be "Carol Gray's" social stories. Mine are of a much more simple, home grown variety, but when they see cartoons of them selves in a 'book' where their continued failed attempts eventually end in success, this has proved a great way of giving them positive feedback and reinforcement.

Why does it work? Difficult to say, but probably a combination the following:-

1. Being a visual learner
2. We're all ego maniacs at heart
3. We know that personalized products are a popular buy line
4. There's nothing like tangible evidence for the doubting Thomas
5. Many people respond to one on one time
6. ......it's fun!

Tues - Two and a half baths

Which half would you like?

It’s one of those little American oddities, a few words that are completely incomprehensible.

You can read it on a page, you can say it out loud, the net effect is the same. What on earth are they on about now? But that was in the good old days when I was a fresh faced immigrant. Years have now passed and I am far wiser. Non-Americans will be pleased to learn that Americans do not have diddy little baths. This is America, the land of big, bigger and the bestest.

Many moons ago in England, I lived with my family in a tall Victorian terraced house. Tacked on the back of the house as an after thought no doubt, was the bathroom. The bathroom had a bathtub, a toilet and a hand basin, but not very much else. It did have a deadbolt and a lock with a rusty old key the size of my small hand, but you needed the strength of a rugby player to shut the door, let alone lock it. All five of us were good sharers and privacy was non existent.













If we were really desperate, there was always the option of the old lean to toilet in the back yard next to the air raid shelter.

This original toilet was there before the bathroom was tacked on.

It was a place only for the brave.

I am, and always have been, a cowardy custard.










Hence I have little sympathy with the current generation of children in my care when it comes to foibles.

When it comes to foibles, which it usually does, their father has one, a foible that is to say. Every morning he shaves in the bathroom next to the kitchen. The bathroom has no bath and is the same size as a crampt cupboard. Standing room only. As he froths and shaves, rivulets of water run down his hands and forearms to collect on his elbows and then drip onto the linoleum floor. Two little puddles of dribbles, every day. This is no great hardship. What is great hardship, for me at least, are the blood curdling screams from my son, every day, when he decides to use the bathroom and finds his path blocked by his dribbling father.

The bulk that blocks his way isn’t the hardship. The hardships are the two puddles. It would be easy to step over the two puddles located closest to the sink, especially if you only have child sized 13 feet and are on your tippy toes, or easy for some people. Other people pogo on the spot and scream, loudly, every day.

Many people, would learn that if you encounter the same problem every day, it might be a good idea to find an alternative solution, preferably a quieter one. Other people need help finding solutions. It is hard to find a solution when you can’t hear. Generally speaking, it is hard to hear if you are screaming your lungs out.

All too often, I find myself just looking at him. I have to remind myself that he has an ‘on’ switch and an ‘off’ switch but no dimmer function, a period when he could think and work out an alternative. It’s an all or nothing approach to life. The absurd can sometimes seem ironic. It is quite sobering for me to realize that this is not a child having a hissy fit or a meltdown, but someone struggling with a gargantuan obstacle, a puddle that might just as well be Niagara Falls. It’s tempting to giggle, a nasty habit that I seem to have acquired over the years.

Instead, I wait a moment to see if the frenzy is spiraling up or down. If it’s on the up and time is precious, I have no option but to scoop him up and cart him off to the loathed toilet down the hall. If it’s on the down, then we have the opportunity to repeat the sequence, to find an acceptable alternative, every day.

Maybe one day, he’ll step over this hurdle all by himself. Just as with so many of the other foibles. It won’t disappear but he will find other ways of coping all by himself. Maybe soon.

AAP

No, not AAPR but APP which stands for the "American Academy of Pediatrics."


As you may know, I am a member of the "Autism Hub," that's the pink logo on the sidebar.

Today members of the Hub are blogging about Autism, no big surprise there, but more especially about finding spokespersons. I'm not of a particularly scientific frame of mind and I don't know what causes autism. I do know that you don't have to look much further than the gene pool around this neck of the woods.

Here is the letter from AAP:-

Subject: parent spokespersons

Hello,

As part of our ongoing response to media stories regarding autism and
vaccines, the AAP communications department is compiling a list of
parents who support the AAP and are available for interviews. We are
looking for two types of parents who could serve as spokespersons:

Parents of children with autism spectrum disorders who support
immunization and who do not believe there is any link between their
child's vaccines and his or her autism.

Parents of children who suffered a vaccine-preventable illness. This
could be a parent who declined immunization, whose child became ill
before a vaccine was available, or whose child was ineligible for
immunization.

We are asking for your help identifying parents who would be good
spokespersons. They do not need to be expert public speakers. They
just need to be open with their story and interested in speaking out
on the issue. We will contact candidates in advance to conduct
pre-interviews, to offer guidance on talking to reporters and to
obtain a signed waiver giving us permission to release their name.

If a parent were placed on our list, we would offer their name and
contact information to select media. We hope to build a list of
parents from a wide range of geographical areas.

As the Jenny McCarthy and "Eli Stone" stories illustrate, this issue
is likely to recur in the national and local media. The AAP is
committed to doing all we can to counter such erroneous reports with
factual information supported by scientific evidence and AAP
recommendations.

The anti-vaccine groups often have emotional family stories on their
side. The ability to offer a reporter an interview with a similarly
compelling parent who is sympathetic to the AAP's goals is a powerful
tool for our media relations program.

Please contact me if you have any questions or to suggest a parent to interview.

Thank you,

Susan Stevens Martin
Director, Division of Media Relations
American Academy of Pediatrics
847.434.7131

Or to email

ssmartin@aap.org (Susan Stevens Martin) direct.

You can contact them yourself here:- SPOKESPERSONS@LISTSERV.AAP.ORG

Or email me directly at m.mcewen-asker@att.net

If you could spread the word we'd be very much obliged.

[Preferably to some nice young photogenic persons who don't have funny accents]

Piccies artistically created by a smallish autistic person.

sat - Awards - Royal Banana

Dear little "Slouching Mom" [note the careful use of a 'c' rather than a 'g'!] who sloughs around "Slouching Past 40" has kindly given me this award, just to add to my weight of shame. Yes my fine friends, I now have to admit publicly, that although I have lived in the United States of America for 12 years now, there are still things that I need to learn.

I have learned that Swedes are called Rutabagas.

I have learned that Pavement is not a Sidewalk.

I have learned that Plums are really Prunes.

I could continue to list the great advances that I make daily, but sadly I appear to have completely missed something that is all to obvious. I learn today [probably last week by the time I get to post this] that in America bananas are called 'blings.'

Clearly I am a blithering idiot.

To be fair, the word 'bling' has cropped up in a wide variety of different circumstances in my life, but never for one moment did it ever occur to me that it was in fact a reference to the humble banana, the ultimate in convenience foods.

Ah well. Now I begin the oh so onerous task of matching the award to other blogs. Who should I wish to send a banana to, may I ask? Maybe a little randomness should be the order of the day? Same and fair.

So this delightful little monkey shall go to the next seven commentors.

Who shall it be?

Aha! My pal "Linda" over at "Are we there yet!" Now there's a woman who is a real trooper [now that I think I understand what a trooper is supposed to be - it always sounded like an insult!] There are so many different aspects to Linda's blog but if you've not visited before then her posting here called "Count five things" is a great introduction. [and I'm sorry I called you a sausage, I know that should have been 'hot dog'!]

Next to "Elissa" over at "Managing Autism," which indeed she does, admirably. If you have not visited before then I would suggest that you nip along and read "Coping with Life." We all wear many different hats in our everyday lives. When I read that post originally, I was wearing my 'I am under the weather at the moment' hat. When I read it today, I am wearing my chef's hat as I flip pancakes. Her message makes sense for everyone. If I ever read it again, I wonder what hat I'll be wearing?


Then to "Mel" over at "Random Thoughts [International Blog}" is a man of faith from the Phillipines, a regular visitor and a prolific blogger. Whilst this award may seem frivolous, I already know that Mel's big heart will find some terrific friends to share it with.


Then to "Casdok" at "Mother of Shrek." This is probably the ultimate in 'think differently' sites. The variety of her posts is amazing. There is always something fresh, new and mind bending! I defy any to visit and not be hooked. If you have not visited before then this post entitled "Big Pants."

To me this is evidence that despite being British, Casdok has international appeal without the need for translators. Knickers!

Next we have poor old "Veronica" over at "Some Day We will Sleep" who is 19 years young, last time I checked. "Veronica" and I need to have a serious chat some time soon about her sloppy definitions so that we can remain on the same page. What exactly does she mean by 'sleepless'?

Take your average night of perhaps 8 hours, at night time. If I sleep for 40 minutes each hour, every hour, then I am sleeping for the majority of the night, aren't I? Maybe instead I sleep for five of those hours uninterrupted but spend three hours of the eight changing bed linen. Does that fall into the sleepless category? What if my bed time is delayed by three hours for the same exercise in laundry, or curtailed prematurely, early in the morning? Do either of those count as sleepless?

I don't know how it is for Veronica, but in my case, I think the best solution is to improve my laundry skills, as 180 minutes would be in the category of severely inefficient!

I'd point you to a specific page but I can't figure out how to do that for her template.

Then to "Mr. Bloggerific Himself" over at "Your Packaging Sucks!" As an English person myself, I feel that this title should have a health warning = ' do not suck your packaging as this a dangerous pastime and you may choke or poison yourself.' As an American person, I appreciate that the word 'sucks' really means 'of inferior quality.' Fortunately neither term is appropriate in this case, otherwise I wouldn't be reading!

Where to start if you're a newbie? How about trying "why I don't like soup or coca cola." A long post [for some] but it just goes to show that as we grow up, sometimes we can figure it out for ourselves and we all love those light bulb moments, or at least I certainly do. As an aside, I am led to believe that if you don't like coca cola, this constitutes grounds for deportation!

Now "Furiousball"is in the wrong order but I couldn't access his blog at "Furious Blog - in my diatribe" yesterday. However, this morning I'm through. Frankly I disinclined to give that chap anything at all, as people are always sending him real, tangible gifts through the Royal Mail.....er......can't think what that is in America for a moment. Where is my word retrieval? Senility can be a blessing sometimes. Er.......UPS! There's so much to be jealous about; his little furious ball icon, his blog design, his strings, his presents.....did I already mention his gifts? Anyway, in case you haven't visited this thoroughly gifted individual before, I would recommend that you start here at his post entitled "staying on the line," because everybody has a complicated life.


So there you go. Isn't that encouragement enough to post a comment?

Cheers dearies

Awards - you make my day

"Tara" over at "tlcillustration" [tender loving care illustration] is a talented little creature and recently [if I get my act together] passed on this winkum dinkum award. Thank you so much for thinking of me. "At Silver Apples of the Moon" you too can have a glimpse of someone's life, with all it's many facets.


It's hard to pick a spot to start, but if pushed [hey, be gentle!] then I'd suggest this posting called " painting by lantern light ." Why this one? Good question. Tough answer. I think because you can see her work in progress, which is always fascinating to me and also because the idea of continuing to 'work' in such circumstances [dark!] makes my head hurt. I know, I'm just a wimp, but I'd simply throw my hands up in horror and run away to the nearest electric light I could find.

Then to "Meno" over at "Meno's Blog." If this is a new one for you then you might like to start with the quickie call "Up in Flames." It tickled my funny bone for a number of different reasons:- my 'hug a tree' daughter who has hissy fits about 'standby' buttons on household appliances, my pal in England who made me wait 45 minutes whilst she unplugged every item in her on bedroom flat again, and again, and again....... and my mum because she has just been brave enough to install a telephone answering machine - new fangled gadget guaranteed to set the house ablaze when you leave.......so she'll unplug it!


Next to "Flutter" in her delightful new spot at "Dark and Divine." Hmm? The Dark and Divine bit is gone. The 'craft' bit of 'fluttercrafts' is gone. So what are you calling yourself these days dearie? Louder please! Oh well, I expect she's busy with something else. Not to worry, I'm sure she'll put me straight in due course. If you haven't visited before then pop along to her post called "The kindness of Strangers" because we never know how many lives we touch.

Also to "Joey Mom" over at "Life with Joey." Her wee ones are more wee than mine currently are, but we share many of the same issues, joys and giggles. If this is a new place for you, I'd recommend this post here called "New Design."

Then to lovely sweet "Lime" at the "House of Lime," no bitter lemons around there. The house of lime is always full of entertainment for me, but if it's new to you, then a good spot to start might be here in her post called "Trinidad to Pennsylvania" where you can test your knowledge of chocolate = irresistible.

There's more sweet stuff to be had over with "Mer" at "Playing with my Food." I'm thinking of sending my youngest son over there to be desensitized to food as she's bound to have more luck than I am. Afterall, who could resist this step by step instruction posting on how to make a superb "Lemon Meringue Pie" with piccies, that had to be guaranteed success for everyone. Probably worth a book mark for those moments when the brain freezes over, or is that just me?

Also for my golly good pal "Linda" at "Are we there yet?" Linda is a real gem. How she manages to juggle career, family, blogging and the pressures of work I can hardly imagine. If you've not visited before then I would recommend this post of hers called "There's no crying in Dispatch."

A lovely new spot for me is "Lisa" over at "Lisa's chaos," a misnomer if ever I read one! Here you can bask in wildlife and fabulous photographs, none my blurry snaps around here. A good place to start would be here in her post called "Round Robin." This is great for a number of different reasons:-

1. I didn't know that Americans knew what the term Round Robin meant.
2. Lisa's potatoes assure that I'm not the only person who leaves things lying around for much too long.
3. I love black and white template sites.
4. It's a good way to find lots of other photography sites.

Lastly to the "anti wife". For anyone who has aspirations to improve their writing style then nip on over for a free tutorial! The "anti wife" has started to attend a writing course, and penny pinchers such as myself can learn a great deal from her financial investment. Now that's my kind of long distance learning experience. If you've not visited before then I would suggest that you start of here at her post called "Lesson 1 - the setting."

New post up on "Alien." It's 'Dinner Party II' so it may be better to read I first.

Complementary abilities and word retrieval

I drive the boys home, a pal and my son, the very verbal and the not so much so.

A match made in heaven.

They are as different as chalk and cheese but they share the same label.

They have little in common yet they are a perfect foil for one another. Mine is a head taller yet a year younger, but I'm not really interested in chronology or inches. I watch them in the corner of the rear view mirror. My son examines the inside of his pal’s ear, the one closest to him, both pal and ear, that is to say.

“Your ear……” he fizzles out.
“What about my ear?” he asks looking straight ahead. My son sticks his finger tip in his friend’s ear, tentatively.
“Don’t do that, you’ll make me deaf and then I won’t be able to hear ever again,” he responds factually, without reproach.
“Oh.”
“You know you should never put your fingers in your ears, it’s bad to put your fingers in your ears, even if it’s really noisy you should never put your fingers in your ears,” he explains with authority.
“Oh.”
“You see these bits? These bits of your "ear" here?”
“Dey are be calllllled ‘lobes.’”
“Yeah, right. If you take your lobes and stuff em in your ear holes, that’s dangerous too. It could stop you from hearing forever. You shouldn’t do it o.k. or you’ll go deaf.”
“Oh.”
“So don’t do it right? Don’t stick your fingers in your ears or you’ll bust the bit inside and then you’ll be deaf for ever and ever.”
“Dah inside is being dah ‘drum.’”
“Yeah, that’s right. So don’t bust it.”
“Oh.”
“Do you know what else happens if you bust your ears?”
“No.”
“You’ll fall over coz you’ll break the balance bit in your ear.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, you have this thing in your ear, like when you spin round and round and it kindof makes you dizzy, you’ll break that bit and then you’ll fall over all the time.”
“Dat is be dah cochlea, curly. It be looks like a snail.”
“Yeah, like that guy next door in 4th Grade, he’s got a cochlea implant.”

A car honks close by. Both boys cover their ears with their palms in the same instant and duck in unison.

St. Valentine

“Ooo I am love!”
“Are you? Er,..... I mean what do you love?”
“I am be love deez!” he shakes the packet of Marshmallows.
“Rubbish! You hate Marshmallows.”

I recall our long programme of desensitization to textures, ongoing. Part of it included making stick figures with Q-tips and baby Marshmallows. I was never that keen on them myself anyway, a heathen American invention if ever there was one, but 35 minutes of that particular exercise, more or less finished me off. I was quite deafened by the whole experience and the desensitization programme was designated an unmitigated flop.

“I am be love now.”
“Really why?” He squeezes the bag to his chest in little vibratory movements.
“Coz dey are pink and pink is being my favourite colour.”
“Ah yes, I’d forgotten that. So you’ll eat pink ones but not white ones?”
“No.”
“But you just said that you like them!”
“I like em because dey are…… puff…….I mean…..dey are soft.”

He gives the packet another little hug.

“Well that’s……good. I’m going to use them to decorate the little heart shaped cakes for your class tomorrow.”
“Decorate?”
“Yes. I’ll put one marshmallow on each cake, glue it in place with icing…..er…..frosting. Do you think your friends might like them?”
“Maybe.”
“Do you think you’ll like them, like them enough to eat one perhaps?”
“Er no……”
“You could try?”
“It be bad to eat dah fings you love. If I eat em, then I can’t hug em.”

Here are a few picture links to more mainstream or traditional Valentine themes.

Not really "Hearts" and flowers.

Much more my kind of hearts and "Flowers."

Just in case you dipped out, here is a "Bouquet."

Or a "green" alternative.

Wordy Wednesday – the sense of smell

“A floor plan? You don’t know anything about architecture do you?”

“What I know about architecture could be written on the back of a postage stamp.”

“So why to we have a picture of a floor plan then?”

“Just think of it as a map, put you in the picture as we go from A to B, so you can get your bearings.”

“Fair enough. We start at A?”

“The sitting room, but we never really use it. It’s just an extra piece of space like a corridor.”
“Why am I interested in this?”
“Because he can’t go in there.”
“Why not?”
“Because it smells.”
“Dare I ask what it smells of?”
“We don’t know. We can’t smell it. I know! Maybe we should start in E, the half bathroom.”
“He can’t go in there because it smells?”
“Spot on.”
“Bathrooms often smell.”
“This is before it’s even been used, first thing in the morning.”
“Maybe you need a cleaner?”
“It’s the trash can that’s in there too.”
“Maybe you should empty it?”
“I empty it every day and wash it once a week.”
“Can you smell it?”
“No. However it doesn’t really matter because he can’t get into the smelly bathroom because you have to go through the smelly utility room first.”
“Your utility room smells too?”
“Yes. That’s where I put the cats’ bowls of food.”
“Ah that can be stinky.”
“It’s dried and it’s usually empty first thing in the morning.”
“Sounds like he’s safer in the kitchen.”
“No can’t go in there, or rather……he can run through it very fast.”
“Your kitchen smells?”
“Sometimes I forget to turn the dishwasher on at night, or it’s not full enough to turn on. Inevitably I’ll have to open the fridge at some point, which means all those mixed stinks will roll out in a cool, all enveloping wave.”
“Hmm you make it sound so……unattractive.”
“Indeed.”
“Do you think he has an over developed sense of smell or something?”
Something like that. I don’t know if he has more sensors or whether the sensors are calibrated too high?”
“It’s hard to imagine, but it sounds all too real.”
“At least he can tell us about them now.”
“True. So it’s only the little one.”
“Yup. Tell you what, I’ll give you a little ‘for instance.’”
“Right.”
“Strawberries.”
“Love em. The taste, the smell, their appearance, everything about them spells summer.”
“What about if they’ve been in the fridge overnight.”
“How do you mean?”
“Have you ever opened the fridge door, wondered what is that terrible smell, discovered the strawberries and commanded you nose to re-adjust itself so that you can smell the lovely strawberry smell instead of the stench?”
“Er….no……I can honestly say that you’re completely on your own on that one.”
“Ah well, worth a try. How about this one? I put some all powerful perfume on the skin under your nose, above your lip.”
“Which perfume?”
“Eau d’Anchovy.”
“Yuck, are you kidding me?”
“Nope, try it! See how you function, whether you can concentrate, whether it’s possible to eat or drink, if you can enjoy any of the things that you usually enjoy when you can’t get rid of that all pervasive stink.”
“So……if I ever come visit, I’ll bring my own peg.”
“Free to all comers!”
“Now if you’ll excuse me, I think I may just need to go take another shower now. See you next week.”
"Cheers."

By the by, "Amanda Baggs" made a superb video about how some people's sensory systems differ. You may well have seen it before but I think it's due for another airing.

Exclusive and Elusive

One of the strangest things about a speech delay is the effect it has on a parent.

Lucky parents like me, notice that ever so gradually over time, the delay has diminished. They are less non-verbal. They have oodles of words. They can stick a whole stack of them together to form what resembles a first class sentence.

The stutters and stammers are less frequent. The diction is poor but comprehensible to anyone who is sufficiently motivated and interested. Yet their meaning……….is so often mysterious.

This could be a fatal flaw for a parent, but I say, if in doubt, just jump in with both feet.

“I wanna go mushroom surfing!”
“Uh, uh, uh, finish getting dressed first and then you can go mushroom surfing.”


“Mom?”
“Yes dear?”
“Now you are beed dah Super A Plus!”
“I am? Really! I don’t think I’ve ever had an ‘A’ for anything, let alone a Super or a Plus, for that matter.”
“Well…..now you are be!”
“B! I’ve been demoted already? I only just had the A. What did I do wrong?”
“Not ‘B’……’be’”

“D’ya know……ya can git…….. hedgehog pants?”
“Um…..no…..actually I didn’t know that. Do you want hedgehog pants?” I can think of few things more painful than knickers full of prickles.
“Japan.”
“Japanese hedgehogs? I didn’t know Japan had any hedgehogs? Porcupines perhaps?”
“No. Japan is have sonic.”
“Er……sonic…….sound……um…..”
“Sonic, he is be from Japan.”
“Oh, I don’t think I knew that either. Oh! Sonic the Hedgehog is Japanese!”
“Yes! I am be want pants like dat.”


“Dad?”
“Yes.”
“Where it is be?”
“Where is what?”
“My……DNA is be?”
“Oh, your DNA is in every cell in your body.”
“In my hairs?”
“Yes.”
“In my nail?”
“Everywhere, every single cell has your own unique DNA.”
“I am like.”
“What do you like?”
“Unique.”

Voting power?

I gave a lot of thought to this post, a whole 72 hours of cogitating. It occurred to me that this might be a way of making the concept of autism a little less ........hmm, how can I put it.....unpopular, more mainstream, shed a little light in the darkness perhaps?

Andy 29 also known as "Angela" over at "Memoirs of a Chaotic Mommy" has very kindly nominated my blog for a number of awards, quite alarming! But I'm none the less grateful, thank you so much.

You may or not be familiar with this site and it's nominations, but believe me, it's not for the faint hearted. You have to register, and then whizz off into middle earth never to see the light of day again. Quite nightmarish and I speak from personal experience here.

My first brilliant idea was to nip on over and vote for myself 7 and a half million times for each category, to guarantee success but quickly discovered that this isn't possible = rats!

Looking at the options, my techy husband says he needs to vote strategically. Why does that phrase sound so familiar?



Best of all time! In my dreams maybe dearie.



Stuff? Maybe, that largely what I write about, I think.....just stuff.



Health seems like a bit of a long shot, unless we're talking about mental health, mine not theirs.



Blogitzer? Can't even spell it!

So what do you think? If you click on any of the buttons, it whizzes you right there.

So I'll leave it here a while until I become thoroughly embarrassed but I'd be grateful for your opinion as to the possibilities of this shameless self promotion.

In the meantime I need to visit someone with a sticky post so that I can find out how to keep it stuck. Ooo the trial of bloggy skills and steep learning curves.

Grateful thanks to "Robin" from "Around the Island" and "Kevin" from "Left Brain Right Brain" for their help and patience.

Lastly, in the alternative maybe we could come up with the right collective noun for trolls, both English and American, or possibly universal? All suggestions welcome.

Here are a few that we came up with:-

A Nightmare of trolls

A Haunting of trolls

An Anonymity of trolls

A Tirade of trolls

and my personal favourite, 'A Menace of Trolls.'

Cheers dearies

Developmental challenges, for parents

Unexpectedly, he leaps to my defense, “do not be disturb him! Cant you see he is be nit!”
“Yes I can see your mother’s knitting…..she’s a she remember, not a him.”
“Oh yes, I am beed forgetting dat.” I still find myself tripped up by the correct use of some vocabulary and the complete absence of other parts of speech.
“You can see it beed grow longer, look!” he beams at his father. How we love that joint attention.
“What’s all this business with the knitting all of a sudden?”
“Don’t ask me? He wants me to sit with him. He wants me to knit. You’ll find no complaints from me.”
“What’s with this sudden fascination?”
“Your guess is as good as mine. I’ve yet to find a parental manual that provides guidance on the subject.”
“Why doesn’t that surprise me?”
“The knit one, purl one stage of development.”
“I just don’t get it.”
“Neither do I.”
“We shouldn’t really do that should we.”
“Do what?”
“Talk about him whilst he’s……here.”
“You’re right. We shouldn’t.”
“You are talk about me?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“We’d like to know why you like knitting so much?”
“Because it is nitty, nitty, nitty andddddddd it be growed.”
“?”
“Do you mean ‘clicky, clicky, clicky,’ er…..the sound of the needles? That clickety noise drives me wild. Perhaps you should try plastic needles instead.”
“Maybe it is the sound. Is it the sound dear?”
“Nitty, nitty, nitty!” he guffaws unable to contain his hilarity.
“Your nose is so close to the tips though. I’m surprised you haven’t poked his eye out with a needle.” He screams as he covers both eyes to run blindfolded from the room at high speed.
“Ah…..that was a mistake.”
“Indeed.”
“Do you think he’ll be alright?”
“Lets give him a few minutes. He has stopped screaming.”
“Do you think he hurt himself with that clunk?”
“No screaming…….so presumably not.”
“Well that’s jolly annoying!”
“What is?”
“Well now……. …….we’ll never know?”
“The end of another era.”



New post up on "Alien."

Bloggers of the world Award

"Deb" over at "Canvas Grey" has very kindly given me this award. Thank you "Deb".

I should also point out [I think?] that this was started by "Colin."

Possibly I should link to "Colin" here, but I'm a little technically challenged on the directions!

As we already know part of this award means passing it along to others and so I’d like to award to the following:

First to "Kelley" over at "Magneto Bold Too." A strange name? Something to do with magnets maybe? Good guess, I'll give you that, but not at all. Instead we have a blog where the host has enough energy and humour to drag us all out of our beds in the morning. Personally I think she's turbo driven by chocolate, if you can call "Clinkers" chocolate. But what do we foreigners know anyway! If you're wondering where to start, I would suggest this post called "rule 34 and clinkers." This helps with blogging techniques and is fueled by clinkers.

We would also nip along and visit "Bonbon Mamma" at "Is this what you do all day." Somehow I feel that should have a question mark after it, but that's me just being picky. If anyone ever asks me that question, I shall have my own answer fully prepared 50 page response in triplicate. I'm uncertain whether Bonbon Mamma is fond or sweets or is just so much 'gooder' than the average, but you can decide for yourself by visiting her posting titled "I'll be playing here all week," because somehow at the bottom of it all, we're really all aiming for the same thing as parents, but we need to have a giggle whilst we're doing it.

On the whole, I try and avoid healthy people like the plague. If I'm allergic to exercise then if I get too close to one of those types I'm sure I'd break out in a rash. So saying, I keep bumping into people who are determined to wear their bodies out at twice the usual rate by running around until their legs are but mere stumps. "Lori" at "Spinning Yellow" is just such a one. If you are similarly inclined, be that a rabbit type like "Lori", or a slug type like me, you may find this post inspiring, called "Least you think," although I think she meant 'lest,' or maybe not come to think of it! I found it inspiring in theory, but I was sitting down when I read it, felt completely exhausted thereafter and promptly fell asleep.

A new one for me is "Mid Lifer" at "Navigating a midlife crisis" I wonder why this hits a chord for me as I am so past mid life myself? If you have not visited before, then her post here called "Dad" might be a good place to start.

"Kaber" over at "All about [my] boys" is one of those stunningly efficient people that leaves me gobsmacked. I could no more homeschool a child, mine or anyone else's, than I could ride a unicycle. Homeschooling or not, you're sure to find a few good tips that will come in handy such as this post here called "Dirigibles." I mean how can you resist!

Now last night I was watching a 'whodunnit' on the telly. I was distracted from the main plot by an actor who pointed out that there is no such thing as a one dimensional person, except in pure mathematics. Why do they drop these little brain teasers in I wonder? Anyway, the point was that at worst you can be 2-D but in reality, most people are multi dimensional. Some bloggers choose to show one facet of their lives, but everyone is a diamond cut. One little gem is
"Kristie" who blogs away at "Life with my x men," and a good place to start would be here in her post titled "Antithesis of watching superbowl." Naughty, naughty, naughty!

Lastly we come to "Robin" from "Around the Island." I think everyone already knows "Robin" who is a superb hostess. What you may not already know, is that Robin doesn't live on an island, she's completely land locked. It's another one of those cunning bloggy tricks to tease your brain. Her island if firmly cemented in the centre of her kitchen. Just for now, I'd recommend this post called "the thing about traveling."

Tel Aviv anyone!

Cheers dearies