Wordless - Special Exposure Wednesday

Do the math! Who needs words?


1


+ 2



= 3




I do have some words over at my other site, "Alien in a foreign field" called "GMT"

If you enjoy caption competitions and photographs, you may wish to nip along to"DJ Kirkby" over at "Chez Aspie" and test your brain power.

Tackle it Tuesday – freshen up

Several kindly persons have seen fit to remark about the vast quantities of art work that bedeck the walls of our family room, but to all things, there is a season.



Every summer at the end of school, I remove them all, pack them up into a bundle for each child and pop them in the attic. This is why the attic is not only a fire hazard but in danger of collapsing in upon us all.

Hence, I decided that the room was in need of a makeover, an inexpensive one in line with my frugal Scottish heritage.

Some me time in August the art work was subject to the annual bundle and my naked filthy walls were revealed. The tide line above the L-shaped sectional couch was all too obvious. The art work was first attached to the wall to hide the original tide line as well as multifarious cracks and holes. I had no choice but to get busy with the 409, a scrubbing brush and a Mr.Muscle Eraser for the truly desperate.

Once the wall were clean, or at least cleaner, they also seemed stark and cold, not an ideal vision for a family room. However, as always, Target came to the rescue with a dozen dollar box frames. I slipped a new art project into each one and mounted them on the walls with push pins at strategic points. Strategic points are perfect for achieving that ecletic look and far easier than attempting a straight line. Because they are so light there was no need to fight with tools and ‘beam detectors’ buried in the garage or hidden with spurious spousal care.

So have a go and transform a dingy wall.

Here endeth the tackle.



Here starteth the true tackle.





It was my children’s habit to run along the top of the sofa, before leaping onto the trampolene and then back onto the sectional for another circuit. Should anyone be wondering why any sane person should permit such disgraceful behaiour in their own home I would respectfully point out that ‘self regulation’ is a beautiful thing and infinitely preferable to any number of far more egregious behaviours.

This wasn’t behaviour I was anxious to curb, merely contain in one room.

No, the true tackle was the transition. Which transition? The removal of their art work, the change in the appearance of their tatty but homey, family room. They had coped well with their sister’s "bedroom transformation," but the family room would be more personal.

Those walls were buried but it started innocently enough. Bear in mind that the boys both abhorred anything remotely resembling a writing tool and one loathed the texture of paper. As a result the half a dozen pictures on the wall were my daughter’s cheerful enthusiasms. A delightful collection of sunny days and cute animals. Nothing from the boys.

This is why their first tentative efforts, not matter how mangled, no matter how babyish, years later than might have otherwise been the case, were works to be celebrated. Not art but real tough graft.

At first there were only a few but as the weeks and months passed there were more. What started with the occasional and reluctant daub, became more frequent. Each and every one was added to the wall. Layer upon layer, it grew and grew and so did they.

I could tell you about the first time my son accepted a genuine compliment from me without a meltdown. I could tell you about the first time he gave a genuine compliment to his brother, without prompting. So many tiny huge steplets piled higher and higher.

Over time, they too began to appreciate their efforts and take pride in them, as we did. Hence to strip it all away would be a monumental transition. I had warned them about the plan when they left for school. I had warned them that when they returned it would all be different. I dreaded bringing them home as I feared that this would be too much and too soon, that I would be unable to repair the damage. Many of our fears are exaggerated, as experience has taught us to expect the unexpected from the ordinary. Many of our fears are unwarranted, but we have learned to be hyper-vigilant ourselves, to anticipate pitfalls and adopt a whole host of coping strategies.

It is to their credit that the change was adopted, welcomed and celebrated.

An over protective parent may seek to wrap up their children in cotton wool, but next time I think I’ll try wallpaper.

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Best Shot Monday

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A grey reflective day, but only for some!

Magic Marker Monday

From the little girl:-






And the big girl:-










See more "here" or have a go at the competition yourself, "here."
It's on my 'to do' list.

Cheers dears

all dogs have ADHD by Kathy Hoopmann - A Review

From "Jessica Kingsley Publishers"

Eye candy with a message:-

Whether you are fan of Anne Geddes or not, Ms. Hoopmann’s book achieves a similar result. Babies are beautiful and between "3 and 5 percent" of them are likely to be diagnosed with ADHD.

Interestingly, Ms. Hoopman provides a brief introduction to her second volume following "all cats have asperger syndrome," where she describes some common elements of the ADHA spectrum. What follows is a delightful romp, high lighting those factors in a whimsical manner through the device of a dog’s perspective. This book provides an excellent spring board to facilitate open discussion and intimacy about a difficult subject, for both parents and children alike, without threat.

Criticisms:-

1. It’s too expensive.

True but that’s because it’s a hardback. The 72 pages work out to the equivalent to 3 days of your routine Café Lattes but the effects last a lot longer and won’t give you a buzz. You can always wait for the soft back or support your local library.

2. How will it help with autism?

It won’t, it’s about ADHD, remember! Please try harder to keep all pertinent facts available in your working memory simultaneously. However, an ADHD diagnosis is often co-morbid with autism. Think of it as a selection box of chocolates. You can pick and choose your favourites, and leave the hard candy for someone else.

3. The photographs fail to meet expectations.

Well now I’m just being picky. I’m no photographer, so I shall restrain myself. I had no specific expectations so that appear to be perfectly fit for their purpose.

4. The captions and text are too generalized. They could apply to anyone and everyone.

True. I think it is essential to avoid any possibility of common ground, level playing fields and empathy. More importantly, I’m getting ahead of myself. Never flip pages or speed read. Always pay close attention to the introduction first, where Ms. Hoopmann specifically draws our attention to the spectrum nature of the disorder. Now lets try and keep focused.

5. Curiously, I do have a genuine criticism.

There are many different breeds of dog illustrated in the book. They are not labeled. My knowledge of dog breeds is basic. As a result, I have been plagued with questions about breeds and species. Strangely, there were no similar questions about cat breeds in “All Cats have Asperger’s,” but that is probably merely an indication of my children’s increasing willingness to speak. Maybe the next printing will address this omission, so that we can concentrate on the message and content rather than categories. Rest assured that only the tiniest of fonts and the briefest of descriptions would be needed, just like the codes on the papers of all test sheets for evaluations.

My second criticism would be by way of apology to all dog owners in advance. Very shortly my children will be accosting people and there dogs with the following question:- “is it a mut?” This is entirely my fault. One quick slip of the tongue and now we are stuck in the myre. I promise to put, ‘research dog breeds,’ on my ‘to do’ list.

Clearly it would be wrong to speculate about the author’s motivations. Perhaps she wants to ease the path for those newly diagnosed, their families and personal circle? Maybe, she would like to make the topic ADHA more socially acceptable for a broader audience? Possibly, other spectra may also benefit, incidentally. I can think of a great many other diagnoses in DSM IV that might also warrant a boost in the national psyche. I am of the genuine opinion, without a shred of supporting evidence, that Ms. Hoopman is out to change the world by stealth and humour. If so, she can bark up my tree any time.

Who knows what animal shall be next, but I wish Ms. Loopman luck in finding another good match.

I suspect that “all dogs have ADHD” failed to hold my attention as much as it’s
"predecessor." This might be because I am subject to a cat bias, but there again, it may also be because 72 pages can be quite a challenge for some,………….. now I’ve gotta dash as I’m sure there’s something[s] I need to do, although I’m not sure which one, or two, or three....... and I’m positive I was in the middle of something,....... although I can’t remember what it was,........ but I won’t be a "dog" in the "manger."

For future reference, please note that I shall not post negative opinions of any book. This is why my reviews are so few and far between.

Could also be that 72 pages is about my limited limit.

Cheers dears

Strategic Planning and banned words, SOOC

Like many parents, my life is lived through laundry. It sprouts from every corner of the house in various pending files; the hampers of clean laundry waiting to be put away, the colour sorted piles awaiting washing, the random discards in between. Considering how rarely anyone is suitably attired for any occasion, it is a complete mystery why this should be such a full time job.

I nab him as he flits by, “excuse me young man! What do you think you are wearing?” He hops in place, anxious to move on with several armfuls of trouser gathered at his waist. “I am be wear pant.”
“I can see that.” He looks at me blankly whilst trying to free his feet from several yards of surplus fabric. “They’re not yours dear.”
“Not……?”
"They’re huge! Look!”
"Dey are be soft."
"They're mine!"
“Er……..we are not be use dah ‘mine’ word.”
“Yes but..”
“You are not be a good sharer wiv me?” He skates away without a backward glance at my de-hoisted petard.

I give up.

At least he’s clothed in a manner of speaking.

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Lunch with Love

Warning!
Not for the squeamish
Graphic material follows

We eat in the garden as the ‘outside’ campaign continues before the Fall puts the campaign on the back burner until next year. I present him with his 'Burrito,' a tortilla folded and positively engulfed in Nutella, more of a chocolate crepe if truth be told. The price hike from $2:79 to $4:89 for the only type of bread he will eat, makes diet expansion a priority. He examines it closely but makes no attempt to eat it whatsoever. As usual, I adopt my 'not interested nor anxious' expression. Whilst he makes rooster noises at the end of the table, I encourage the others to eat their more conventional versions.

"You didn't put cheese in it didya Mom?" asks the intolerant one.
"Not in yours dear."
“Mom?”
“Yes dear?”
“If ya kiss more dan one girl……….. d'ya get poisoned?”
“Um…..no I don’t think so…….but…..er……nevermind, we’ll talk about that later. Now eat up your Burrito.”

I make a mental note to follow up on any number of possibilities from blind alleys and cul-de-sacs, to faithfulness and fickleness.

“I……don like……dah………guaca yuk.”
“Guacomole! It’s very good for you. Just remember…..green is good.”

I contemplate the age old difficulty, his inability to say the word ‘green,’ although he has no difficulty whatsoever with any other hue from Emerald, all the way through to Myrtle and British Racing.

“Mom?”
“Yes dear?”
“Whats zis?”
“Dill and Basil. All fresh, highly nutritious.”
“Mom?”
“Yes dear?”
“Praying Mantises.”
“What about them?”
“Are dey……..vegetarians?”
“Mainly, although they’re not averse to the odd bite of cannibalism here and there.”
"What's for dessert?"
"Er.....I've not thought that far ahead yet."
"Do I have to eat all ofit Mom?"
"Yes, every scrap."
"Can I still have dessert if I don't?"
"I'm afraid not."
"Doesn't matter anyways. I expect desserts summat disgusting too."
"Actually.......we'll be having........." I troll through my mental image of the fridge contents. I have decided to have it tattooed on the inside of my cranium........ "er......strawberries."
"Cream? Do we get to have cream too?"
"Possibly."
"Can I check if we've got any?"
"When your plate is empty."

My 'image' is hazy. I can't quite get the cream into focus."

“I am a good sharer.”
“Indeed you are.”
“I’m gonna share …….my Burrito……..with love.”
“Ah. That’s so delightful. Very thoughtful but I think maybe you had better eat it yourself, build you up a bit.”
“But she is having……only………..a teeny tiny appetite.”
“Um……who has a teeny tiny appetite?”
“Love.”
“Er………?”
“I am give my pet a name.”
“A name? Which pet?”
“Look! ..... Here she is. ....... Mom,...... meet Love.”

Thursday 13 - 164:- how to plan a successful date night




Thirteen Things about planning a successful date night 1. Book baby sitter 3 weeks in advance. 2. Write cheat sheet for baby sitter, copy three times, laminate, place in kitchen and children’s bedrooms to avoid slip ups. 3. Write "social stories" to explain the concept of baby sitting. 4. Brief children in advance of impending night out. Reinforce ‘joy of babysitting’ with aforementioned social stories. 5. Role play 'baby sitting.' Utilize Pokemon as the babies. 6. Write both cell phone numbers on business sized red card stock, laminate and stick in prominent position in each and every room. 7. Carefully remove the word ‘abandonment’ from their vocabulary and reinforce ‘third party thoroughly responsible and much more fun Respite Worker.’ 8. Book back up baby sitter two weeks in advance. 9. Re-write all "social stories" and erase the word ‘baby’ from every page. Replace with the word ‘child.’ 10. Note absence of all Pokemons. Find alternatives within the next 24 hours for further reinforcement and practice. 11. Persuade Warrior to step into the breach if plan A babysitter and plan B babysitter should fail. 12. Re-write all "social stories" and erase the words ‘sit,’ ‘sitter’ and ‘sitting.’ Replace with the words ‘care,’ ‘carer’ and ‘caring.’ Role model ‘caring for children’ by third party. Remain standing throughout the exercise although bending is permitted. Substitute Webkinz as the objects of care. 13. On the night in question, leave house and children in care of Warrior and drive to movie theatre to watch something. Resist temptation to leave cell phones in car. Switch to vibrate. Lock car. Note rear seat is full of Pokemon and Webkinz.




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Wordless Special Exposure Wednesday

Is tactile defensiveness a thing of the past! I'll check my 'generalization of skills' log book before I say anything rash.

For anyone keen on words, I have a new note from "Nonna" called "Telescopic or Micro?"



If you enjoy caption competitions and photographs, you may wish to nip along to"DJ Kirkby" over at "Chez Aspie" and test your brain power.

Tackle it Tuesday - menu plan

Formulate Plan A

In these financially stricken times, we need to tighten our belts and plan ahead. One way to get to grips with dwindling money supplies, is to stock up, stand up and design a fool proof menu plan for the week ahead. This should prevent marketing mishaps in the store.

The easy bit is to make the plan.

The difficult bit is sticking to the plan.


One way to stick to your plan, is to publicize it by sticking it somewhere prominent, such as the fridge door, either written in stone or alternatively on a disposable, wipe sheets with magic markers. Magic markers ensure that everyone is briefed in advance, but if you accidentally find that you have scoffed all the potato salad whilst the children are at school, you can easily substitute ‘green’ or ‘rice’ salad and no-one will be any the wiser.

You of course will be much wiser, but possibly penny foolish. As the pounds pile on together with the potato consumption, you may well find that you may benefit from shedding a few surplus purchases from your weekly shop. I make it a habit to check my receipt at the check out. If any item cost's more than $10, then I make a mental note to refrain from buying that item ever again. This is why we currently out of toilet rolls.

Ideally you should plan to shop immediately after consuming the potato salad. Make sure that you visit a shop with a restroom, so that you may take advantage of their copious supplies of toilet paper.

Psychological studies have shown that a shopper with a full tummy is much less inclined to shop under impulsive, although possibly under the influence. Other studies have shown that if you are full of potato salad, there is a much higher incidence of tummy cramps, which is directly related to one’s ability to push a trolly ladened with groceries. Further studies indicate that these same shoppers are far more likely than not, to be ‘basket’ users, if not basket cases. Basket cases usually restrict their purchasing power to one sack of potatoes, so that they are better able to repeat their mistakes and go completely off their trollies.

Hence, these few little steps may assist, the props and prompts of menu planning.

1.

Multi purpose, re-usable and self re-inforcing.

2.

Use a permanent marker for the title and days of the week.
For the details use an Expo.

3.


Sometimes it is possible to be extra sneaky and slip in some therapy on the side.




Although this kind of a challenge is not for the faint hearted. Be careful to ensure that nose pegs are freely available for all participants.


4. Under the current democratic rule, everyone is encouraged to take responsibility.






When you consume the last item in the box, add to the shopping list. Be independent! Take full responsibility as a participating member in the clan.

5.


Colour co-ordination may help with eye tracking to deliniate different 'parts' of the meal.

There are a great number of fringe benefits to this system. First and foremost, the numerous enquiries from every living breathing member of your household:-

What's for supper/dinner?

This is swiftly dealt with by directing their attention to the plan. This is especiallly helpful if you exist in a swarm of butterfly brains who forget the answer only seconds later, only to then repeat the same question at 20 minute intervals thereafter.

Beware of self expression!




and editing!




It is important to clarify the difference between 'wants' and 'needs.'




I am now off to formulate plan B. Maybe I should have done that first?

Cheers dears

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Best shot Monday / Manic Monday Pride

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Hosted by "Tracy" at "Mother May I," but the photo-picture below will whizz you right there with one click.

Just call me snap happy.

Darts! Experience success!

Although I take a great many snaps, I can use very few of them, because my children are rarely dressed appropriately.

The skill of dressing, is an art form.

When a toddler first manages to dress themselve’s independently, parents rejoice in their success. Pride in achievement doesn’t seem a sin but something to celebrate. It is a huge step to master snap fasteners, zips and laces. All of those tasks are too difficult, textures are aversive, fine motor skills are poor, weak and unpracticed, and anyway you’d prefer to avoid the whole clothing issue entirely. Despite all this, there comes a time of realization to that child:- the things that other children, littler children achieve without effort, are way beyond their own reach. When this notion takes hold of a youthful mind, many begin to lose their sense of self worth. A child as young as 5 or even 3, may suffer depression. Unlikely as it may seem, sadly, it is true.

This is where tiny huge incidents of success may help address the imbalance. Small experiences of positive feedback can help re-build their fractured self esteem. A sense of pride in a task completed, becomes a tantalizing goal. It can’t be faked. It must be real to be of worth.

A dart board is fun for many a child, and adults! But the needle end would be dangerous for many and truly scary for others. Hence these magnetic darts fit the bill. Despite shortcomings in some realms of fine motor, co-ordination and eye tracking, other skills may be unusually enhanced. They may help compensate.

It is important for me to note that at the time of that photograph my son was in the 'Thomas the Tank Engine' developmental stage. He has already passed through the 'dinosaur' stage. Many people describe autistics as having obsessional interests and sometimes compulsive too. This may be a fair shorthand. It is often true that the interest pervades their lives to the exclusion of everything else. They do not stop to eat or to meet any other of their basic needs. I can see why it's described as obsessional.

However, I sometimes think that an alternative view would be 'single interest.' They have a current single interest but it can change to something else without warning. In our case it was on Christmas day. No more Thomas, so no motivation to open any presents at all, even if we ignore the tactile issue.

If you take a child with an obsessional interest to a toy shop, they will seek out their preferred toys. If you take a child with a single interest to a toy shop, when the single interest has gone, there is nothing at all to entertain them. I know that this is very difficult for people to understand. It is the very opposite of the 'kid in the candy store.' Name any 'thing' or 'toy' you can think of, but to entice a child to engage, is often an insurmountable hurdle. It's like a secret club where no-one will share the password.

This is not to say that you couldn't have more than one 'single' interest:- dinosaurs, Thomas and insects simultaneously. I could be interested in reading, knitting and gardening or motor cycle maintenance, art and stamp collecting, but anything else? Well it's just off the radar, perhaps?

However, it may well be possible, with a dollop of luck on your side, to find just the right password, and hit the bulls eye. It isn't really a secret, it's just patient, persistence or obstinacy in my case. And yes, that glint is a twinkle of pride in his eye.

Brought to you via "It's a Blog Eat Blog World."

What a lucky combination!

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p.s. I amended 'Peanut Butter Bumpkins to include the recipe.'

Magic Marker Monday

From the little girl:-




And the big girl:-









See more "here" or have a go at the competition yourself, "here."
It's on my 'to do' list.

Cheers dears

Peanut Butter Bumpkins

Stage one

We make them together, although she has the impression of independence.

Her creation would fail most nutritional examinations but it a triumph of visual delight.

Stage two

She reveals her handiwork to the boys for their approval.

We have already discussed her presentation in advance. On no account should the ‘trigger word,’ peanut butter be mentioned.

“Ta dah!” she beams!
“Dey are being pumpkins?”
“No they’re candy. I made em for ya! All by myself!”
“You are being dah awesome chef.”
“You’re gonna love em. They’re made of….....….food colouring, frosting, butter and…........confectioner’s sugar. Mostly sugar really. A whole tonne of sugar.”
“Sugar! I am love the affectionate sugars.”

Stages three and up

Touch, smell, lick…….. well, you know the drill.

Addendum - Recipe and book review

The recipe comes from this book which I would wholeheartedly recommend as it has lots of fun ideas, especially if you’re a foreigner and not very good at Halloween. The Book is called “The Big Book of Halloween – Creative & Creepy Projects for Revellers of all Ages by Laura Dover Doran. It is thoroughly suitable for children as there are ‘easy’ projects too. I think I could have done with this book a few years ago. I think we will be able to use it again next year.

I love all hobbies and crafts but I’m in the minority around here. It is attractively illustrated without too many surplus words, or rather there are lots of surplus words but they’re arranged in such a manner that you can tune out the full page of text and concentrate on the insert box, the main event. The instructions are simple and numbered. There are several unusual, home made and cheap costumes too. The models are ordinary, friendly, pleasant people rather than intimidating super models. It is well organized into easily recognizable chapters.

Peanut butter Pumpkins

Combine 115 grammes / four ounces or 1 stick of melted butter with 340 grammes / 12 ounces of peanut butter and 454 grammes / 16 ounces of icing sugar / powdered sugar / confectioners sugar. [see how tricky it is to translate these things!] Smoosh everything together. I would add the sugar gradually as it’s a stiff work out for the muscle challenged. Add the orange food colouring early and it will lighten the more sugar you add. It’s really hard to add the food colouring at the end as the dough is like cement. You do have to add all the sugar or otherwise your pumpkins won’t hold their form [too soft]. Roll the mixture into little balls. You can mark the sides to make them look like pumpkins but leave that step out if cocktail sticks are lethal weapons. Add a trail or stalk of livid green icing / frosting to complete. They taste better after chilling for an hour. The recipe says that the yield is 15 to 20 pumpkins but we had 34! So ours must have been considerably smaller. My daughter ate two and said that was more than enough to last her the next 24 hours as they’re very rich.