Laundry Try Tackling it Tuesday

In a household of "7" filthy people, there tends to be a lot of laundry, my sole responsibility. Each step of the laundry process, and we all know that it is a many step process, is just fine with me, except the last step, the ‘putting away’ step. It is not uncommon to find all seven of my laundry hampers full to busting at the top of the stairs. For some unknown reason, probably mere inefficiency on my part, this is my perennial stumbling block. The very best thing to do with stumbling blocks is to blast them into outer space.

Personally, I’m sorely tempted to convert the garage into a holding pen, fill it full of racks and shelves, and house everyone’s clothing in one spot, right next to the washer and drier. This would streamline matters considerably. Since the average American already uses the garage for storage purposes, with cars parked out on the hard drive, we would just be that little bit ahead of the curve and start a whole new trend.

I think it would also foil burglars who would break and enter through the weakest safety point in the average house, the garage, and would then be distracted from the task at hand by a tempting display of clothing. It’s a trick used by most store keepers, put the most attractive items near the entrance to lure in the punters. By the time the burglars have picked out just the right size, style and colour, the police will have arrived and the game will be up.

But I digress.

Here is where the art of delegation comes into play. What is the point of having children that create work if you can’t tap into their ability to contribute towards the smooth running of the family unit? Call it child labour if you will, but if we ever hope to develop independence in our children, it’s a step that’s hard to resist.





Here I must confess my main objection to teaching my children independence, namely, that they do not meet my exacting standards when it comes to putting away the laundry. This is why a few little visual pointers can help them navigate the way and keep them on the right washing line. Labels my friends, labels. If your children can read, then all well and good. If not, then little icons or PEC’s help smooth out the bumps and indirectly save on ironing. Folding is well beyond our current skill set but hangers work well.

I’d like to don my environmental hat and cut down the laundry, wear clothes more than once or dab off stains like my mother used to do whilst the occupant is still inside. I’d like to curb the three or four changes of clothes whilst they attempt to approximate the costume of their favourite characters, but at the same time, I am also dumbstruck by this extension of pretend play. Suddenly they’re happy to attempt dressing. They’re motivated enough to overcome some of those fine and gross motor challenges. Do I really want to choke off and stifle such tender new growth?

Sadly, although we started this new campaign over 18 months ago, what with one thing and another, I have let matters slide. However, that’s no good reason why we shouldn’t start again, renew the campaign and continue to tackle our own particular mountain, or failing that, "regroup" and take "cover."

Be mine

Hosted by "Tracy" at "Mother May I," but the photo-picture below will whizz you right there with one click.

Just call me snap happy.

A little late, but isn't everything these days?





Now that my friends is a labour of love. The marathon is over until next year.....when is St. Patrick's Day again?

Dog’s for autistic children – a preliminary report

The primary purpose of dog adoption is to assist relationship development for many people, often referred to as RDI. So I thought it would be interesting to share what we have experienced to date.

Prior to Thatcher’s arrival, we spent six months visiting the dog park on a regular basis as my youngest son had a great fear of dogs. This was a more intensive version of the general desensitization programme for the previous two years.

So far we’ve experienced several significant developments. Firstly, both the boys have learned to pronounce ‘th’ in six weeks of daily practice. Secondly, my older son, who has a tendency to speak inaudibly, now manages to speak more loudly on occasions. All of the children have learned that if they do not tidy their toys, the toys are likely to be chewed or eaten, which is a great and fairly natural incentive.

My youngest son’s first response is always to run away from whatever it is that upsets him. He knows that by running, in the dog’s eyes, he turns himself into a plaything or prey. This has helped him to learn to hold his ground and use his naturally commanding voice. Also, that hand flapping and waving is interpreted as a gesture of alarm or play and that he can communicate more effectively by slowing it down.

By pure luck we find that we choose a sweet natured and intelligent hound. He is easy to train and all the children are keen to learn. Interestingly, on a traffic safety note, whilst they both often dive willy nilly into the road, if they are attached to the end of a leash they are both very careful to ensure that Thatcher doesn’t do likewise. Because they are already fond of him they are keen to treat him well. Whilst it might seem a good idea to steal your own favourite chocolate pudding from the fridge and feed it to the dog, once he sees the dog vomit he has a direct visual reminder that kindness comes in many forms.

Although Thatcher is a Labradoodle, he does shed his hair. So far the boys’ asthma has remained the same. Their eczema and allergies have not worsened nor flared. I think we all benefit as a family from regular walks. I know that the children benefit from freely talking to all the many people that we meet along the way. It has given them a new and interesting subject to talk about. It seems that both adults and children are far more easy going and forgiving if the discussion is about dogs. They have both adopted several conversation openers such as ‘what’s your dog’s name?’ This is especially endearing as the question is centred on the other person. They both recognize and enjoy this expansion.

So those would be the main facts to date.

On a practical note it is good to remember that pets are initially expensive to buy.[adopt] Thereafter, especially if you are in America, there are a number of fixed costs apart from food and equipment. Many people out here opt for pet medical insurance and many veterinarian establishments offer payment programmes to cover the pet’s initial and on-going immunizations and medical treatments. If your pet is not already neutered or spayed this is another huge payment. Puppy training is a must unless you already have experience, and even then, to be frank the puppy training is as much a benefit to the junior owners as it is to the dog. Puppy training for autistic children, in a group setting may be a challenge. However, if the focus remains on the dog and the teacher models the behaviour expected, there is a good chance that those children may have one of their first positive experiences in a crowd.

So basically everyone is happy and hunky dory, except me and the carpet cleaner and the accidents!

As an aside, I also note how logic dictates the rules.

It is our habit as a family, to say goodnight to the children when they are in bed. My youngest and more vocal son, has a strict pecking order when it comes to love. Women, girls and cats, even if they are male cats, can be loved. All other creatures, humans or otherwise are ‘liked.’ His father accepts the status quo, even if he might prefer things to be otherwise. One morning he finds his son fawning on the puppy, hugs and licks and “I love you Thatcher.”
“Great! You love the dog! The dog’s a boy, remember?”
“Oh……yes.”
“But you don’t love boys and men, remember?”
“Er……I like mens and boyzes…….but I love wimmins and cats and pets, even if dey are dirty old smelly dogs.”
“I’m not that old!”
“Er…….it’s o.k. dad……..you don’t smell as bad as Thatcher.”
“!”


I could write more but I’m a bit pushed for time as “Nonna” needs me.

I you have the time “other people” also need a dog for autistic children as you can see over here at “Michelle’s” blog.

Lastly, if you think I’m exaggerating about the ‘th’ pronunciation you can check out the "video" and hear for "yourself."

What an expression? The damned fine teaching profession.

Get the code:-
Cut and paste
from this little
boxy thing below

<a href="http://www.lighteningonline.com/"><img src="http://i135.photobucket.com/albums/q158/mmcewen/smiley-saturday-1.jpg" /></a>

“Hey Mom!”
“Yes dear?”
“My teacher says I’m doin real good in math.”
“Er…….my teacher……say…..you’re great, awesome job!”
“Mom! My teacher says…….she am being entertaining…….. wiv my new adorable face much more……dan my angry face.”
“Oh!”
“Dya wanna see my cute face?”
“Sure.”

How your body works? A knee jerk reaction!

I react to unusual yelps of pain. I find her in the family room, beating herself with a hair brush, with a silent audience, her brothers.
“What on earth are you doing to yourself?”
“I can’t make it work!”
“Make what work?”
“The knee jerk thing.”
“Oh……I see. Well you don’t have to be so violent about it. It’s really easy. Let me show you. Pull up your trouser leg. Cross your legs. Now feel your knee cap and tap firmly just underneath.”
“Wow! It works!”
“Be more gentle. It only takes a tap.”
“Geez, that is so cool!”
“You can do it to anyone, especially if they have bare legs. All you have to do is look carefully and tap. It makes for a great joke. You could try it at school.”
“Come on you guys. Whydontcha have a go too?” The boys examine their own knee caps, with care and a good degree of contemplation.
“Not joke.”
“It’s not a joke? Don’t you think it’s funny dear?”
“Er…….not if you ain’t got no legs.”
Rats to the "theory of mind!"

The sleeping life

We are nocturnal, again. I trundle through days and nights with attrition, neither asleep nor awake, merely treading water as I wait for the phase to pass. I adopt my own coping mechanism, a constant stream of espresso interspersed with pots of tea, as there’s nothing like a full bladder to keep you on your mark. Bloated but vertical, will just have to do.

As I wait outside the classroom with my youngest son for the others to join us, I am reminded of the steady stenographer. She would sit in the courtroom with her neatly crossed ankles below her tidy legs, encased in a pencil skirt, nursing a soft little pot belly of womanhood on her lap. Still as a statue, palms down. The only movement came from her curved fingers as the tips followed the words of all the parties present. Her neutral face was calm, open and expressionless.

I pay my son no heed as he is huge and eight and discretely inappropriate and waiting is always tough. He nestles into my body, not so much from the cold but for protection from other more ethereal attacks. His moans are sotto voce, the suppression expression of the frustration of waiting, whilst his fingers tap my tummy.
“It doesn’t hurt to me!” he bellows at 50 decibels as volume control is work in progress. All around the school yard, faces turn towards us with one accord on cue. Maybe a hundred pairs of black bee sunglasses stare blankly through the watery piercing sunlight, in the chill of the afternoon.
“Oh good. It doesn’t hurt me either dear.”
“Mom?” he continues.
“Yes dear?”
“Are yah fat or pregnant?”

Unexpected fall out

This is what you can expect if you ever happen to finish your laundry.

An once in a lifetime empty laundry shute provides new opportunities.

If you enjoy caption competitions and photographs, you may wish to nip along to"DJ Kirkby" over at "Chez Aspie" and test your brain power.

How to make your own duvet/comforter cover

First a quick translation to avoid confusion:-


Around here, we use European duvet covers which are the same as American comforter covers except that Europeans omit the second flat sheet. Instead, the duvet cover goes next to your skin, or maybe your pyjamas. This means that Europeans change their duvet covers far more frequently that most Americans change their comforter covers, which are used more like Europeans use eiderdowns.

This is why American sheet sets are packed as follows:- one fitted sheet, one flat sheet and one or maybe two pillow cases. If the pillow cases are fancy, they are sometimes called shams. This is intensely confusing to foreigners such as myself.

Hence if you find yourself with a surfeit of single [twin] flat sheets, it’s very easy to make them into a duvet cover [comforter cover].

First practice with a couple of old tea towels which will provide you with a handy reference map when you’re buried in two six foot sheets. Once you’ve grasped the basic principles it will be very easy to make the real thing.



Since sheets are already hemmed you don’t need to bother with French seams or have any fear of the fabric fraying.

Put the wrong sides of the fabric together.

Fold over the top of each one over in the opposite direction of each other and put a nappy pin at the edge, through all four layers to simulate a seam.



Turn the whole thing inside out and you will see that you’ve formed a double pocket at one end, which will keep the duvet from escaping.


With the big real version, sew the three outer seams first with the right sides of the fabric together. When you turn it right side out you can add an extra layer of stitches at each side at the top flap to make it easier to insert the duvet and strengthen the edges.




Some people add tags to the inside corners or buttons to help keep the duvet in place.

On completion add two to four snap fasteners to the inside edge to help keep the flap from gaping. I avoid Velcro as a quick fix because it often becomes undone, is scratchy and makes for added tactile complications with restless and active sleepers, as with hook and eye closures. Some people use ties but these tend to fray after only a few uses. Buttons are also a tactile issue and the button holes are difficult to fashion quickly unless you have a sophisticated sewing machine.



It is not uncommon to get through three sets of bedding on a bad night around here. If both of them hit a nocturnal phase at the same time, then we may encounter 8 sets of bedding by morning, especially if we parents lose the plot along the way. I find it hard to connect the dots during the night. They are wide awake and fully functioning, but without the day time prompts, accidents are inevitable. As bedding and duvet covers are extremely expensive, we’ve found this an invaluable way of increasing our linen stock without breaking the bank.

Now if anyone has any tips for making your own indestructible, heavy usage washing machine, I’d be extremely grateful.

Magic Marker Monday

Hosted by "Tracy" at "Mother May I," but the photo-picture below will whizz you right there with one click.

Just call me snap happy.

International translations

I field questions all day, correct diction, repeat back the preferred form and generally exhaust everyone with my efforts. During a brief lull my youngest pipes up, “lookie, lookie, lookie!”
We look, all of us, out of the window and follow the pointy finger.
“What are we looking at dear?”
“Er…..dat car’s butt is dirty,” he chortles, with quite the filthiest undertone of a brothel creeper.
“Ah…..someone’s written in the muck……anyway….it’s a car boot.”
“Boot?”
“Yes, car boot, not car butt.”
“Boot?”
“Yes, boot as in shoe.”
“Actually” she adds with a hint of smarm, “it’s car trunk mom, trunk as in back.”
“Er…” percolates the little one, “trunk……. as in elephant,” shortly before he dissolves into cackle on the floor.

Sick as a Dog

Get the code:-
Cut and paste
from this little
boxy thing below

<a href="http://www.lighteningonline.com/"><img src="http://i135.photobucket.com/albums/q158/mmcewen/smiley-saturday-1.jpg" /></a>

Thatcher, the most miserable dog in the world!

Which is why I am happy to be female, with all my withered bits and bobs in their original places, human, without a cone on my head and ever so slightly humane. If that's not a reason or two to be happy, then I don't know what is?

Most interesting Google search question of the week

‘How long does it take to teach an autistic kid to tidy toys?’

What a corker!

Whilst I’m tempted to launch in with my size tens, I think I would have to own up and say that without asking a few questions of my own, I should have no idea. What would I need to know? Their age, both chronological and developmental, just for starters. It would be helpful to know their current means of communication, verbal, PEC’s, sign, although not essential. I think my biggest question would be, ‘has he or she learned how to play?’ This might see a rather strange kind of a query. Surely if there are toys that need tidying, then there must be someone playing with them? A good point, but not necessarily true. There is a big difference between dumping out a trough full of toys onto the floor for easy access, and actually playing with them.

A child who has learned to play doesn’t actually need any toys because ordinary household objects can be playthings with a little imagination. A wooden spoon can be an oar or a magic wand. This ability is innate in many people, but not in others. Some children can pretend that a Superman figure is a baby doll, or that a baby doll is a dog, or that a dog is a horse. Other people, with help and encouragement can learn these things too.

Still doubtful? It may help to observe the child in question. Does he really play or merely repeat movements, stereotypical, over and over again. Similarly when children line up objects or toys. Then there is also scripting when a child can repeat a storyline from a book of film with exactitude. Sadly, once these behaviours are recognized for what they are, all too often this is the spark that people wish to extinguish. For my children, these behaviours, and others, were a starting point, something to ignite and work with, rather than against.



How else can you tell whether play skills are under developed? An easy test it to take the child to a toy shop. Some children dive into the store and head straight for their favourite spot. Others browse everything in awe, flit from shelf to shelf. Still others refuse to get into the car in the first place and have no interest in going to any shop, let alone a toy shop.

On arrival, some of these children prefer to play with the electronic doors, many cannot go inside because of the lighting, the noise, the busyness and are completely overwhelmed. Some may find the shop entertaining because they can read the labels or examine price tags, as numbers are generally enthralling wherever they happen to be. In fact they can be so enthralling that this particular child refuses to leave the store.

So, my initial answer would have to be, first teach your child to play. I like to think that play, is children’s work. Once they have learned to play, then teaching anything else is so much easier. I’m almost tempted to say that teaching play skills is even more important that attempting to teach speech to the non-verbal. This is because a child may have fabulous speech facility but still be incapable of play, whereas once a child can play, then teaching speech is a prolonged and life long game, but I’m more than open to opposing views.

These are just a few hints. It may be that your child already plays delightfully, in which case, learning to tidying up will be an absolute breeze. If on the other hand, you recognize something here, then I can only say that all is very far from lost. Not so long back my own non-verbal children did not play. Now they play and they speak. What’s more, they have achieved the pinnacle of success in my book, namely, pretend play, where the only limits are the outer edges of our own imaginations.

Still don’t "believe" me. Would I lie to "you?"

Street Talk

Many parents of autistic children spend many hours and a great deal of money on speech therapy. We do this in the hope that our children’s ability to communicate will be enhanced and become easier with time. Speech production is a complex skill, especially if we include the social nuances so often implicit in everyday conversations. The subtlties of language are often difficult to nail down. Even sophisticated speakers, the Asperger side of the spectrum, are often flummoxed by their own logic. Frequently, they all miss the realm of speech patterns most common amongst their peers. All to often, parents put heavy burdens upon their children with their high expectations.

………

I am in the middle of my usual list of prompts and cues as we stumble our way through the morning routine before school. Like most youngsters, my children are tuned out and difficult to keep on track. Neither has uttered as much as a syllable in 20 minutes or more. My patience wears thin as I notice that people who were dressed at 7:30 are no longer dressed at 7:35. I know there’s a catch in my voice, “listen up! I need you to put your clothes on!”
“Yadda, yadda, yadda! Your needs!”
“!”

This from the child who has difficulty retrieving the word 'green.' All too often it seems that they exceed my expectations.

Wordless - Special Exposure Wednesday

After more than 8 years of tireless and rigorous training, there are few outstanding skills that we're still working on, towit my nightly view at the dinner table.



If you enjoy caption competitions and photographs, you may wish to nip along to"DJ Kirkby" over at "Chez Aspie" and test your brain power.

ROLF Award

"Jessica" explains the rules as follows:-


"To award someone a ROFL Award:

1. Pick a post from the current month that made you laugh.
[Please only choose original material written or developed by a blogger - i.e., not a YouTube video, cartoon, or joke circling the Net.]

2. E-mail me a link to the post that you are nominating AND a link to your blog by the deadline.
[I will send you the award button so you can share it with the blogger you've nominated.]

3. I will send you the award button code a day or so before the awards are to be posted.

4. Send the person you are awarding the award button code and let them know when the ROFL Awards will be posted for the month.

5. On the first Friday of the month, write a post on your blog about the post you nominated.
[Please link back to this blog (Oh, The Joys) and to Tania at Chicky Chicky Baby so that people can see the full list of award winning funny posts.]

6. Read all the funny posts for the month and enjoy!

Feel free to e-mail me with questions.

I look forward to laughing with you!"

Not sure about the 'first Friday' versus the deadline, but here is my offering in any case:-

For "Mama Mara" over at "Mama on the Edge," for her post called "Finding Dr. Right," If she can find humour in her life, then I think we might all be able to take a leaf out of her book, as long as you put it back again with some sticky tape.

Cheers Dears

How to make your own Webkinz [posable]

One of the best ways to get organized is to delegate household chores to your children. One of the best ways to motivate your children to co-operate is to provide finely targeted bribes. The current bribe currency around here is Webkinz, but they’re a bit pricey, especially in these financially stricken times. So, if your household is in need of a little extra motivation, why not make a few of your own bribes.






Body
Cast on 30 stitches to a size 10 [US] circular needle. Mark the beginning of the round. Knit two rows knitwise.
Increase one stitch knitwise every second stitch. [60 stitches]

Knit one round
Increase one stitch every third stitch. [80 stitches]
Knit seven rounds without increasing.
Decrease – knit two together, repeat to end of the round [40 stitches]
Knit one round
Decrease – knit two together, repeat to end of the round. [20 stitches]
Knit two together, repeat [ten stitches]
Thread through the tail with the crochet hook and pull through and tie off on the wrong side.

Legs
Knit eight I cords with six stitches, one inch shorter than the length of a standard pipe cleaner. Insert pipe cleaner with a crochet hook and pull through the centre. Fashion each end of the pip cleaner into a loop and squeeze the pointy end tightly with wire cutters. Sew the loose end on the yarn at each end to cover and flatten the ends. Atatch home made or shop bought pompoms to one end. Sew the bald end to the body of the spider on the outside [right side] with invisible stitches.




Sew on eyes and pompom mouth. Secure contrasting coloured pipe-cleaner for the mouth and make sure to neaten the inside ends so that they don’t poke through = tie the ends together on the inside, twist off and add a blob of glue so that if they do move they will not be sharp.

Stuff the body and sew contrasting circle of fabric to the underbelly.





Clearly, they motivate lots of children, not just mine.

Now with the easy part over, it’s down to the real business. If your children have an eye for detail, then a Webkinz logo is an absolute must.

First pick a language, an unfamiliar one. Learn two or three lines, together with an authentic accent. Secondly, decide upon which type of disguise best suits you. Ideally this should be a disguise that is credible, no Chuck E Cheese Mouse suits please. Find you finest pair of small sharp sewing scissors and secret them about your person. Then, take yourself off to the local Hallmark shop or any other fine retailer of the much favoured Webkinz.

On arrival, blend discretely amongst the other legitimate shoppers. Do not draw attention to yourself by acting oddly. Wait patiently for the right moment and then discretely hack off the nearest Webkinz label available. Return the bald Webkinz to the back of the shelf and run like hell. Do not worry if you are caught as you have the best defense in the world, a real justification that cannot be thwarted by logic.

As I may have mentioned earlier, this tackle is not for the faint hearted.

If you find that you’re not a ‘Mission Impossible’ type, your second option is to take careful note of the Webkinz that already enjoy household space at home. Wait until all junior persons are absent from the home, preferably for a long period of time, such as during school and then determine which Webkinz is for the chop? Take your sacrificial Webkinz and slice off it’s leg, unpick the Webkinz logo and sew it neatly on the new and perfectly unique Webkinz of your own design.





Before the children return home, nip outside and find a rock. Smash your front window with the rock from the outside to make sure that the broken glass falls on the inside of the floor to prove that you had no defense against the wicked, Webkinz robber who burgled the house whilst they were away.

Either option should be completed early in the morning. On completion, early in the morning, you shall now have the rest of the day to complete your mission. First it is necessarily to acquire a massive brain such that you are able to hack into the Webkinz site on-line. Once hacked, it is then essential to steal a legitimate Webkinz code. Having stolen the Webkinz code, all you have to do is to perfectly forge the Webkinz papers of authenticity, insert into a plastic Webkinz liner. Carefully wipe clean of all incriminating evidence, such as finger prints. Be sure to wear latex gloves. Attach code package to the Webkinz, with a pale blue ribbon that you saved from a previous purchase.

I think this is probably where I went wrong?

Anyone want a green spider perchance? I’ll forward the ribbon later on, if I ever find it.

Magic Marker Monday

Hosted by "Tracy" at "Mother May I," but the photo-picture below will whizz you right there with one click.

Just call me snap happy.

Yes that's sandpaper!
an 8 year milestone

Quiet time

Get the code:-
Cut and paste
from this little
boxy thing below

<a href="http://www.lighteningonline.com/"><img src="http://i135.photobucket.com/albums/q158/mmcewen/smiley-saturday-1.jpg" /></a>

It's a bit hazy, but Nonna rests in the company of the boys, all of them reading Garfield comic books.


Following a "nasty scare," we shall be recharging our batteries this weekend.

However, if you're feeling a little more energetic, you may wish to consider nipping along to say "hi" to "Kev" over at "Autism Talk," he doesn't half get about that lad.

Or maybe you're more "musically" inclined in which case "Casdok" may have a "surprise" for you.

Maybe you could squeeze in a visit to "Kristina" over at "Change.org" where you could vote for her or simply drop a note of goodwill as she adjusts and settles in to her new spot.

"Trish" over at "Another Piece of the Puzzle" and at "Autism Interrupted" and updates her "Twitter" more frequently than I can manage and at "5 Minutes for Special Needs Mums" is still slogging away for all our benefit, and I'm sure she'd appreciate a comment from you. Talking of "comments" it appears that "Trish" has been kind enough to give me a "blabber mouth" award, although I suppose it's better than a "big fat finger" award for my typing skills, I think? I'm not entirely sure what I should be doing with this [?] but please don't give me any advice, rude or otherwise!

There you go, my foggy brain has managed to fathom it out, although it's Saturday rather than Friday. Suffice to say that with Nonna's mishap we have been a bit a sixes and sevens, I sure I'll be forgiven for being a day late.....I hope?





Many thanks to Sheri and "Barbara" for your concern, we are nearly back on track. I should really give this to the lovely Elle, but she's blogless poor woman. So I'm happy to pass it on to "Holly" at "Fearless Females" - what a name! One that I heartily endorse. There are so many more commenters that should take this award, but for right now, my battery is full dis-charged.

If you need to little pick me up, then head on over to "Grace in Small Things," to read of join.

Don't forget to keep your eyes and ideas open to "Jessica."