I have moved over to WhittereronAutism.com. Please follow the link to find me there. Hope to see you after the jump! :)

Monday, November 27, 2006

Early onset

[translation = here sooner than anticipated {sub translation = senility, that is to say}]

Oooo enough of this ‘hidden disease’ malarkey. Far too tiresome, and certainly anything but hidden. It’s all to obvious around here I’m afraid. There might be many reasonable and logical explanations for what you might observe in the confines of this, our home, but the most obvious cause is autism.

How do I mean? Well, lets start with a small example and we can compare notes. Sounds like a plan? Good.

Here are the basic ingredients. [translation = add or subtract as you deem fit. {sub translation = minus}] Take one child or the smallish variety, ideally male. [translation = lower incidence ‘female.’] Sprinkle the following substances over the said child and observe reaction. [translation = for some subjects it is best to avoid the ‘head and shoulders’ area with there is a higher incidence of receptors]

Take and eye dropper. [translation = haven’t the foggiest, please supply at your earliest convenience] Fill with blood temperature water. Drop one droplet on subject. [translation = insert earplugs prior to commencement]

Take talculm powder and drift one siftlet over the child at a height of approximately 5 feet above head. [translation = a step ladder may prove useful for this portion of the programme.]

Thirdly, expose child to the sound of the fire alarm sensor. [translation = the soft beeping noise that the contraption emits when the batteries are low] Ensure that the device is the greatest distance possible from the said child. Do not be alarmed that you are unable to really hear the same noise yourself, until you are standing 3 feet beneath the dratted machine.

Fourthly, take your favourite foodstuff. [translation = any one will do, just as long as it is universally agreed by mankind, that it is delicious] Ask subject to a] look at food. B] smell food. C] touch food [translation = not necessarily with finger, due to tactile defensiveness] D] lick food. E] taste or eat food. Let me know if you get past A].

Lastly, try and cuddle subject when he’s not expecting it. [translation = bandages are in the bathroom]

Advanced programme. [translation = program {N.B. not for the faint hearted.}] Repeat as above, but this time use yourself as the subject. Observe the enhanced agony of your child, as you expose yourself to the same elements. [translation = cannot put oneself in another’s shoes {sub translation - rats to the theory of mind}] [See Ref 1] If the observer of the subject reacts as follows:

“No, no, no. Doe not do dat! Agh! Agh! Agh! You will be hurted! No! No! No! I will hep you!” then you may gain some small reassurance that the theory [as set out below] is not always the case. [translation = in all situations] It is sad, as always, to observe the callous attitude of the mother. [translation = prima gravida]

Have I convinced you?

Oh! You think it’s more ‘sensory integration issues and a bit of speech delay’ huh! Or maybe you adhere to the theory that he's a wimpy little nerd who needs to 'shape up?' A valid observation as always on your part. Luckily we’re all entitled to our biased opinion. [translation = especially me]

A child with too many nerve endings? [translation = maybe just a bad wiring job]

{sub translation = whoop de doo!
/jolly good show Mr. Eye Contact}

[Ref 1] The Theory of mind from Wikepedia [thank you] According to Simon Baron-Cohen et al,[7] [ translation = I love him and all his pals really] many autistic children appear to lack a "theory of mind," which is the ability to see things from another person's perspective. This is a behavior cited as being exclusive to human beings above the age of five and possibly, to a lesser degree, to other higher primates such as adult gorillas, chimpanzees and bonobos.[citation needed] Typical 5-year-olds can usually develop insights into other people's knowledge, feelings, and intentions based on social cues (e.g., gestures and facial expressions). An autistic individual may lack these interpretation skills, leaving them unable to predict or understand other people's actions or intentions. [translation = a load of old codswallop {Sub translation = rhubarb}]


Kathy T. said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog and reading about my sister-in-law, Trish. The increasing diagnoses of autism are scary. Hang in there and best wishes to you, as well. Kathy

Anonymous said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog as well .[mathematical autism ]Best wishes to your boys .Hope you know you've got yourself two 'Einsteins' and two Nobel awards.

Jerry Grasso said...

Early on we thought Super D might have a host of issues, sensory integration being one of them...I used to also assume he was deaf. I could go drop a box of utensils behind him while he was stemming to Toy Story and he never heard it. What was I to know...also, the Cohen you quoted...you know he's the dude that plays Borat's cousin, right?

Talented family, no?

kristina said...

A child the nerve endings all scrambled like the pieces in the proverbial jigsaw box?

QueenBitch said...

Hi there...have witnessed similar with my aspie nephew. Also, along with having problems with empathy, his own facial expressions remain the same, so it is sometimes impossible to empathize with him. Sad and frustrating.

I like your blog and appreciate your visit to mine! Hope to see you again soon.

AshleyLeo said...

My favorite picture on your site to date....Mr. Eye Contact! Love the caption just as much as the picture. And small feet...what's not to like about that?

Clearly many of his T.O.M. components are intact, including Cause & Effect. Good for him!

And I love baby powder, a sensory thing for me!

I love Simon B.C. too, and I don't think he means "all or nothing" when it comes to mindreading. Many kids miss interpreting some of the emotions and body language correctly. Some more or less I suppose. I also think it happens much earlier than the Wikipedia reference explains.

Leo used to get confused with deceit - ex: when someone would be telling a lie and they'd be smiling. The words and the face didn't "match", I would say. I used to cut out pictures from magazines and various junk mail the tough ones for Leo. He used to get Surprise and Mad mixed up all the time. We also used Simon B.C.'s Mindreading CD to help us figure out Leo's triumphs and challenges in this area.

A good friend of mine has Aspergers, and we occasionally video tape him (at length) having conversations and hanging out at home with family. We'd then watch it together and compare notes, because he hated it when he would misread a potential date! His "inside" would often not match the "outside" like Queenbitch refers to. This really seemed to help.

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