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Thursday, November 30, 2006


It’s no good!
I think I have sprouted a leak somewhere.
Brain cells seem to be seeping out of my cranium faster than I’m able to duplicate new ones. It would appear that I am incapable of doing first grade homework.

[translation = form 1]I find this fact, hard to digest and more than a little alarming, but I have no way of gathering further information to determine whether senility has really set in or whether there’s a chance I am suffering from some kind of communication problem? [translation = again.]

Although it’s a maths problem, [translation = math] I try and work out the answer from the clues given by the words…..'are left.’ I conclude that this is an indication that the answer is 'more than one,' i.e. a plural. ‘Is left’ would be a dead give away that the answer is singular. Even I can manage = 1. However, I don’t think this can be the right way to work it out, it must be cheating to exploit the grammatical deficiencies [translation = shortcomings] of the person who designed the math problems. [translation = also not a good explanation for a non-verbal 6 year old.]

At some unearthly hour of the morning [translation = night] spouse returns home. I have senior son’s homework by my bedside. I’m restless, can’t concentrate on my literary classic whilst I’m defeated by a little person’s homework. How I hate homework! I hated my own, and I have hated each subsequent generation's homework with even more vitriol. [translation = short of the patience gene, I was last in the queue {sub translation = line}]

I sheepishly ask for spouse’s assistance with the matter in hand.
“Oh I was looking at that yesterday,” he comments. I look at him expectantly. I count to fifteen. [translation = slowly whilst I wait for further and better particulars {sub translation = more inforamtion}]
“Well, obviously you can’t do it.”

Is it really that obvious!
Things are worse than I thought?

“No, the other page with the information is missing.”
Missing! Really! You think so?

Not a missing piece of brain matter but a missing bit of information.
That’s so reassuring.

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