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Saturday, November 25, 2006

Note to self

[Translation = and to you too] Before we gets bogged down with politically correct terminology, I apologise in advance for using the wrong words. Words like ‘oddity’ and ‘quirks’ are interpreted as derogatory, but I find it hard to describe them otherwise. [translation = perhaps that’s because I’m supposed to be neurotypical {perhaps?}]

I need to write them down before I forget them, [translation = rapid advance of senility] or begin to wonder if they really happened.
I expect that you have advanced skills, as evidenced by your superb ability to find your own car in the car park. [translation = parking lot {sub translation = why ‘lot’ rather than humungeous or medium sized or small?}] Other people [translation = foreigners and other inferior beings [sub translation = aliens and non Americans}] stand in the middle of the tarmac [translation = black top] and gaze at the rows of identical vehicles and wait for divine inspiration. [translation = help from any source]
In this instance, the source of help, is my own personal assistant. [translation = American born citizen]
“Don worry mom, I will be finding it for you!” [translation = a rare incidence of voluntary assistance having recognized external stress source emanated from mother{sub translation = ‘rats’ to the theory of mind}] He sparks up and down the rows of cars like a thing possessed. [translation = too fast for me to keep up] As he runs along the central division of concrete he checks the side of each car, double checks a couple, ‘no it not dat one,’ and sqiffs on by. [translation = runs on tippy toes which adds to the illusion of flight] He identifies what he believes to be the right one, dives off the path, scoots to the rear in a flash, stops. I stand beside him as he runs a tentative finger tip along the edge of the circle, the petrol cap flap. [translation = little door that you open to put the gas in]
“Der you go mom! Dis is our car!” he announces in triumph. I glance inside. [translation = trash contents on wheels]

Of course he’s right.

A better visual cue for me [translation = clue]

Note - think of this as your 'optional' homework assignment = the compilation of a parental data base


Jacqueline said...

Hmm... I thought "quirks" was a quite positive word. Quirky people are good, fun, interesting! However my grip on the title of "normal" is a little tenuous, so perhaps not everyone sees it that way.

kristina said...

Like "quirky"----vs. "crazy" or "nuts" (the latter having been applied once to Charlie).

mommyguilt said...

I don't mind "quirky" so much. Besides, everyone has quirks, not just our ASDers.

AshleyLeo said...

Hmm...my list of quirks will be quite impressive (translation=high in quantity). I have my thinking cap on, compiling my list already...For starters...
1) No sense of direction in a familiar area. My theory being every direction looks "familiar", so I think it's the correct way to go. It may have been for another destination at one time, and so I get the past mixed up with my present task.
2) My bionic sense of smell, which I actually just posted on!

Camera Obscura said...

Alternately, you could just get a car with a remote locking device, then push the "unlock" button and search for the car that is beeping / flashing its headlamps.

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