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Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Curiouser and curiouser

I resist the ‘what is it now!’ message that bubbles up through my brain. I try very hard to replace it with ‘humble gratefulness for the power of speech.’

I am irritable. [translation = more than my ambient state of grumpy] He stands four feet below me, semi clad clutching the toilet plunger. “What I am?” he demands. What realm of existentialism are we branching off into? I peer at him through wonky bifocals as I teeter on the top of the ladder.
“Er you’re a boy dear.” I shove one box to the back of the cupboard and pull out the next one.
“No! What I am?” Saints preserve us! What is he on about now? I shove my glasses up my nose, as when you are close to the ceiling in California, the temperature is nearer 100 than an ambient 90 degrees. The heat in my head is offset by the icepack on my chin, because autism doesn’t exist in a vacuum. [translation = dental woes]
“What it is?”
“What is what dear?” If I drop a box on him by accident I will never forgive myself. I wedge the box for safety purposes and curse the idiot who designed this kitchen.
“What it is ‘peculiar’?” I pause, suppress a sigh and wonder who I am going to have to hunt down and "do away with" this time? Why are people so quick to judge and condemn?
“’Peculiar’ is odd, or strange, or different.”
“I am odd or strange or different?” It’s not echolalic as he has changed the tone to a question. I am rapidly going off that Amendment. [translation = freedom of expression]
“Who told you that you were peculiar dear?” Why are people so quick to draw dubious conclusions?
“No, it was dah lady.”
“What woman dear?” I can tell that my milk of human kindness begins to curdle. Why are people so negative, always willing to assume the worst?
“Dah lady in dah store.”
“What woman in the store?” Maybe at the cheese counter? Why are people always ready to cast aspersions?
“Dah lady in dah store when I be having dah meltdown.”

Whilst in theory there should be sufficient information for me to be able to narrow down the field of options, unfortunately, meltdowns in store are still a frequent occurrence.
“Well, never mind what other people say or think! They don’t know you one jot, nor what they’re talking about!” I snap. Some people should just mind their own business. [translation = rancid Stilton]
“Not me.”
“Not me……..er……you.”
“Me? I am peculiar?”
“Yes. Dat is what dah lady is said, er……in dah store……when I be having dah meltdown.”

Ah. So quick! Fancy him noticing that! Fancy him choosing this moment to relate the incident to me that must have been percolating away for more than a week.
“Well of course in that case,……..everyone is entitled to their own opinion, the lady was probably quite right.” How astute, I permit the Amendment to stand. [translation = by Royal Decree]

So if you've struggled to load this page and want to comment, you'll find it much easier on my new "loads like a dream" duplicate "blog."


Anonymous said...

It is curious! Amy relates incidences to me more than weeks after their occurrence. How she remembers I'll never know

Crystal xx

tut-tut said...

Hello; it seems you have zero time time be making ice cream with a unit that requires you to turn the handle that turns the dasher ONLY 2 or 3 times ONLY every 2 or 3 minutes for 20 minutes.

Thank you for opening up you blog to me!

dgibbs said...

Great memory recall!

I wonder what this woman found peculiar about you during your son's meltdown. Makes you wonder what that person would do in the same situation. I like to think either the same things I would do and feel stupid for judging or either they would be on the floor having a meltdown all their own.

Guess it's too hard for people to just give a knowing smile and mind their own business. Heaven forbid one should ever offer any form of assistance.

n. said...

all the best people are peculiar. [well, all the ones i know, anyway]

Jeni said...

Welcome to the world of the odd, peculiar and strange! Aren't we all members of that group, in one way or another?
Behavior therapist here this a.m. and noted that Maya asked to play with some puzzles she had brought last week. Ok, no problem. Therapist asked which one she wanted and she pointed to one bag. Ok, done. Then she requested one of another color -don't recall which now but it was given and done. She then asked for the "red" and therapist didn't know which she meant as none were colored red. Maya pointed to one and upon looking at it, therapist realized it was numbers and they were all shown in red! And, she'd only ever seen those puzzles once before! Amazing the things she does remember at times and when she brings that knowledge out too, isn't it? The potty training continues too and actually met with one occasion of success today. Yes! There is a God, isn't there? All that for one little tinkle but by gosh, by golly, I'll take my successes any way I can get 'em!

Anonymous said...

oh i am so glad to have found your blog! you bring such a breath of fresh air to talking about autism. wanted to say that it is my belief that the movers and shakers of the world have always been "peculiar." normal seems boring to me. at any rate...i like your style of writing and your sense of humor. i would love to add you to my links of my website i have just developed.

my site can be found at www.theautismexpress.com.

Drunk Mummy said...

Oooh, my hackles were rising there, but it did make me laugh at the end.
Weren't you still tempted to tell him that the 'lady' was an obnoxious old bag, whose opinion was not worthy of his concern?

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