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Thursday, March 13, 2008

Know your onions

The campaign to increase food intake and variety is wearing me out.

I foolishly decided that if we never eat the same thing twice, then everything will always be new, then there will be no safe harbour.

It is now a given that every mealtime results in collective squalks of horror.

He takes one glance at his dinner plate, clutches his throat and makes retching noises. I nudge the plate towards him, Asparagus spears, caramelized onions with crumbled bacon and a side of Dauphinoise potatoes. This child has to eat some, that child has to eat more and the other child just has to tolerate the food being on the table.

“I am hate!”
“You’ve never had it before so you don’t know if you hate it yet.”
“I hate celery!”
“It’s not celery dear.”
“What it is den?”
“I hate Aspergers.”
“Not Aspergers, Asparagus. It’s going cheap this time of year.”
“Going? Where it is go?”
“Sold. The shops are selling it cheaply at this time of the year.”
“Cheaply? What it is dah ‘cheaply?’”
“Less dollars. More dollars is dear, less dollars is cheap, or cheaper or cheaply.”
“Why are dollars be dear?”
“Oh,….er…. ‘dear’ means expensive too. Asparagus is cheap because it’s seasonal. Remember?”
“Seasonal. In season. The new rule that we eat food that is in season.”
“What season we are?”
“But it is sun.”
“That’s because we’re in California.”
“Asp…….is being a Winter vegetable?”
“What it is?”
“What is what dear?”
“Um the other…….the next season is being.”
“Yuk! I am hate Spring moorer.”
“I am hate Spring vegetables moorer than Winter vegetables.”
“Which vegetables?”
“Spring rolls.”

Pass me the compost bin please.

Today, I'm also over here at "Trusera."


Unknown said...

As the parent of an Asbergers boy, I can sympathize with the food issues. But your transcriptions of your conversations with him are so funny, and so filled with love and patience. He is so lucky to have such a good Mom.

Happy Elf Mom (Christine) said...

What a shame! Why is it that the food that's the most trouble to prepare, is the food kids hate the most??

I am hate that waste of work!! LOL!

Linda said...

I am liking the Aspergers but it is still too dear out here in the cold northeast. Perhaps what your son doesn't eat you can just ship out here?

You poor thing in regards to the food struggles but I love that you have such a good sense of humor about it! I love these conversations!

The Shepcarpclan said...

Lol, spring rolls. I love that one, great giggle.

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