Whitterer on Autism

Thursday, September 04, 2008

A Pouf of Ponchos?

I make one for my daughter.

It looks delightful.

I knit one for myself, they’re so quick and easy.

I knit one for my older daughter, sludge coloured so that she can blend in with her beloved trees. Since my mother-in-law's birthday is only a day or two away, I knit another one.

I have quite a bit of wool left over.

At the weekend, when everyone is home, I sort though my wool basket to the delight of small people who frequently believe that playing with balls of yarn makes them every bit as irresistible as kittens.

“You are knit me?”
“Pardon?”
“I need?”
“What do you need?”
“I am needing a pouf too,” he wheedles.

It certainly would be a good way to use up all the scraps and leftovers. It might help reduce global warming. It would fit in well with the recycling plan. It would be bound to come in handy when the summer days wane and everyone complains of chilliness.

“Ah! Waste not want not! Which would you prefer, greeny, purply, pink, or sludge, or red, or lemon or stripes?”

He pauses, deep in thought, “I am be have golden!” he announces with glee, as yellow is still his current favourite but his father is quicker off the mark as he pounces, “not on your nelly Sunny Jim, you’ll look like a complete......…” I lop him on his politically incorrect loaf.

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Thursday 13 - The Crown Jewels reveal

Thirteen Things about crown jewels

1.... Start your list here!

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

I’m a bit of a hoarder on the quiet but not the sentimental variety. I hold true to the values of quality above quantity. That said, I feel it only fair to put them all on public display. It is also a reminder to update your home’s personal insurance policy. Make sure to detail those items that have a value greater than the minimum deductible claim adjustment cost ratio.

1. here we have the treasure box that houses the gems. It’s some kind of old cutlery box, slightly smaller than a house brick.

2. This is my grandfather’s wrist watch. Sadly I can’t wear it as I am allergic to nickel.

3. This is my grandmother’s brooch made of Porcelain. Sadly I cannot wear it as the clasp is made of brass, it’s heavier than a rock and tears clothes.

4. This is a Fimo brooch with respect to a career that never panned out.

5. This is a photo of the three of us before we became six

6. This is the pair of ear-rings that she made for me a couple of decades ago. Sadly I cannot wear them as I do not possess the neck of a giraffe and hence I have a tendency to impale my shoulder blades with dagger points when I laugh.

7. This is the necklace he gave me during the many happy years of sin we enjoyed.

8. This is a golden plastic box.

9. In the golden plastic box is a flower made of sugarpaste that a dear pal made to adorn our wedding cake.

10. This is my 13th Wedding Anniversary gift, it is a glass waste product of NASA.

11. These are my watches. The Timex is accurate but winder is a fighter. The bead one is fabulous, elastic and therefore allergy free but the dye leaks from the natural wood.

12. This is my son’s Worry Stone. It’s never in the treasure box as we need it on hand at all times, not tucked away gathering dust.

13. This is a pin that my OBGYN gave me and all his other patients. It represents the size of a babies feet at 9 weeks. I don’t think they do that kind of a thing in England, but I still acquired quite a few, over the years. I could only keep three of the little ones. Maybe it represented 13 weeks of baby development but memories fade in sharp relief.

Of course it’s 100% tin, so I couldn’t possibly wear it.

Fortunately they came with their own protection, hypoallergenic, you know, the really pure gold kind.

***

And now........for something completely different!

Brought to you by "Artie.com", the nearest I can manage to a button! Today I should very much like to recommend this site to you called "Like a Shark" and her post called "Outside/in," as alternative perspectives are always highly recommended. Ooo the drama!

And finally, real life catches up.

Whilst I was whizzing around today I came across a post from a pal of mine, "Mary" at "A Room Of Mama's Own." It always makes me laugh because from when I first visited there many moons ago, something dyslexic kicked in and she has been stuck in my brain as 'Mama's PJ's,' which is of course American for 'pyjamas.' So there she is, forever stuck in her pyjamas in my brain, but of course she's real person, just as all the other jolly bloggers are, in the real world, where real things happen.

A lot of the things that happen in the real world are "horrid." When horrid things happen it's hard to know what to say or write to that person, a "real person." Often it's simpler just to slip away unnoticed, especially if you're a cowardly type like myself.

I often wish I could find a new system of communication. I'd like to just be able to put at 'X' in the comments box.

The 'X' could mean all sorts of different things, a code.

My 'X' would translate to:-

1. Maybe a kiss or a hug, or something mushy like that.

2. Perhaps it marks the spot of the treasure, 'here I am!'

3. I have read what you have written but I lack the worms to convey what I wish to share.

4. I was here, I read what you wrote, but somebody already wrote the worms that I was going to write.

5. His / her worms are better than mine, so I won't write anything.

6. I am a huge, hunky, chunky, chappy type that eats worms for breakfast, but I do have a sensitive side.

7. I am but a mere worm but with access to a laptop. An 'x' is all I can manage. Although I can head butt the 'x' key, don't ask for a capital as that shift key is a bit of a stretch.

So nip along to read "Mary" and leave an X in the box, as she's a very good translator.

Photo Friday - old fashioned

What is it?

Well it's several things all at once.

1. a traditional gift for a baby

2. a whistle [see the little hole in the pipe]

3. a rattle [hence the bells]

4. supposedly you could rattle the rattle to entertain the baby whilst you blow the whistle to corral the rest of your herd. Could prove a very interesting experiment trying to rattle and whistle at the same time. You'll probably find your self all alone with absolutely not children or babies within sight.

But that's just my take of course.

Cheers dears

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Please scroll down for Tackle it Tuesday

Brought to you by "Artie.com" today I should very much like to recommend this site to you called "Slurping Life " as well as this post called " FASD " which you can also read over here on "5 Minutes for Special Needs," as a little more awareness never hurt anyone last time I checked.

Cheers dears

Monday, September 01, 2008

Freeze Frame - tackle it Tuesday

Scroll down for Ruby Tuesday

Ooo er......also scroll down for Perfect Post

I seem to be getting ahead of myself or possibly a big behind!

We have an appointment at the specialist. At $6 a minute we cannot afford to be late. Every second counts. I make careful advance preparations to ensure that everyone will be on time. Since my children do not do well when hurried, I start well in advance.

We have a number of fairly standard obstacles to overcome; using the bathroom, a certain degree of cleanliness, fully clothed bodies, hand entertainment and or talismen, shoes, enter car, use seat belt.

"Nonna" will remain at home, alone. As a result I deem it fit to add a couple of additional safety precautions. Just prior to departure I shall leave enough spare time to ensure that she has all the things that she might just possibly "need" or that she may require assistance with, plus a few additional minutes to ensure that my message is clearly "understood," as hearing aide usage is a crap shoot.

I think hard to check whether there is any possibility that I have skipped a step. I am confident that we are on track and aiming at the target.

I am calm.

I am in control.

Everything will be fine.

We commence our sequencing in an orderly fashion, step by step by step we slowly gain formation. All variables are taken into account. We move into range with a little shimmy here and there, but still within the proscribed parameters. We track gently along the projected path until task completion is within our grasp.

I manovre with care, overcoming obstacles, detouring around cul-de-sacs and bypassing blind alleys. Gentle encouragement here, pressing on the brakes over there as we steadily tip toe towards the goal. We teeter towards the target, gaining momentum, limbering up, synapses snapping and muscles moving.

I hold the door handle to open the flood gates and hit the automatic garage opener just as Nonna appears in the framework:- “Maddy can you just turn on the BBC for me please?” ..........before she's finished her sentence my son escapes from the bathroom, stitchless and roars into the darker recesses of the house, his brother trips over the step and tumbles onto the concrete floor, bowling his sister over in the process.

There is a very loud weeping, wailing and gnashing of retainers in all directions.

Bullseye.

Perfect Post Award

Please Scroll down for Ruby Tuesday post

The perfect post award is hosted by Lindsay at "Suburban Turmoil" and Kimberley at "Petroville." Sorry it's a little early ladies but it's now or never as time and tide wait for no [wo]man and the waters are closing over!

Every once in a while people can feel a little lost, a little small or a little little.

Personally I am free from such little trifles as I try earnestly to avoid all 'isms.' So saying, it may just be that you too feel that littlism is creeping over you in this big bad scary world. There are many ways of beating back the waves of littlism that come crashing into our lives on a daily basis, and one of those things, as we already know, is blogging.

Hence I should like to nominate "Carrie" at "Fully Caffeinated" for her post entitled "Lighting Marys" as although this may be a little irreverent for some, the underlying tenant affects us all regardless of our religious persuasions.

Hopefully this post will help you feel bigger too, or failing that, more connected with other little bloggers like me.

In an effort at full disclosure I should point out that I am a lapsed Roman Catholic myself, but I'll tuck my bias back in now, no peeking!

Cheers dears

Ruby Tuesday

Scroll down to next post for "Magic Marker Monday"

After numerous prompts that it is necessary to walk backwards when wearing fins, he decides to opt out of walking altogether.

Sunday, August 31, 2008

Review - a Laborious Day

Please scroll down for Magic Marker Monday

I reflect the morning’s events to determine what, if anything, I have learned.

As I think, I scrub the wall on my knees beneath the window sill.

I have learned that the new phrase was a mistake. Running around the garden shouting “no knickers, no food” did not have the desired effect. In the 93 degree heat, I learn that my voice carries one block with an easterly breeze and that no-one is allergic to ‘outside’ anymore.

My neighbour advises me that ‘drawers’ or ‘pants’ is more socially appropriate for public broadcasts.

I discover that my son will consume Ritz crackers as a substitute for Goldfish crackers but that eating them without suitable attire is a dangerous pastime.

I learn that our home is not entirely burglar proof, that it is possible to gain entry through a window and that a bug screen is no deterrent.

I am uncertain if I have a pack of lemmings or a co-ordinated team? I already know that I am an excellent cleaner as I remove the last few footprints size 13, 1 and 3, from the wall.

Replacing the bug screen will be a challenge. Teaching them not to retreat, go into reverse and climb back outside the window, is more of a headache.

I think that lots of "us" have issues with "containment."

A timely reminder to check our insurance coverage and renew my union dues.

Please pop over to my new blog "Sandwiched Genes" for further complications.

Half truths and grey lies

We leave the very small house. I wave as the front door shuts and take a lungful of air. I suspect it would be the same if it were a very large house, a mansion or a barn. “Oh mom, she is sooooo luckeeeeeeee,” squeals my daughter, enthused to bursting. Has she lost all sense after two weeks at camp?
“So .... she is.” I hope I sound genuine.
“Why can’t we have 19 cats too?”
“Um…..” I wonder if we could fit in an extra girl? But then children are always happiest with their own families. I know she is loved. I know she is happy and I am judgmental old numbskull. I opt for truthful, “well we do have two cats, that’s more than a lot of people have, don’t you think?”
“Yeah, I "spose.”

What senses would I trade for just a smidge of that innocence?

Magic Marker Monday

Group effort number one.

Group effort number two.

Bravery award to reluctant finger painter!

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Real gents

Please scroll down for photo hunters /scavengers

Ironically, the health food campaign comes a cropper. Suddenly I am a jailor on death row with my life set to 24 hour egg watcher, anything to stop him from grabbing the salt cellar and emptying it down his gullet. Maybe it’s the shapeliness, or the pastel colours, but something has revived his need for sodium chloride. Inevitably my back is turned on one or other whilst I use my best extraction services.

I spend an inordinate amount of time chasing him all over the house. As he runs he chants his new mantra, ‘you’ve got mail, you’ve got mail, you’ve got mail,’ with more animation and expression than I could ever have imagined. When I pin him down to pry open his grinning jaws and sniff for evidence, he responds with his alternative mantra, “greased lightning!” and a chortle. It occurs to me that I have a missed career opportunity as a tracker dog. I also regret refilling the container, twice. I’m tempted to empty it down the sink to refill with castor sugar but I believe that would constitute cruel and unusual punishment.

When I find the empty 16 ounce carton of raisins I realize that what with "one thing" and "several others," that my supervisory skills are overwhelmed. I examine the potential candidates for tell tale signs. Which one is the guilty party? I have far too much choice. I consider the effect of 16 ounces of dried fruit upon the average digestive system but I have no hard data to rely upon.

Several hours later.

Post play dates, I have one child to collect. I work backwards to allow us to arrive on time with an allowance for the unexpected. We prepare to depart an hour in advance. Two boys.

I hear a small bleat from the bathroom.

From this particular child, it is the kind of bleat that doesn’t really register, since volume control is generally off the scales. It is hard to find a suitable comparison. It’s the kind of ‘tsk’ noise one might make on finding a piece of fluff on clothing. A quick flick and it’s gone, of no consequence.

The bleat does not match the scene of devastation. I inadvertently squeak which brings his brother running in to observe, “what happen?” he asks unnecessarily as his eyes pop out on stalks. It is still a very small bathroom with very little room for manovres. It is difficult to know where to begin, so I make a start.

Once again I have cause to doubt my purchasing powers. Why did I buy the four pack of 16 oz raisins for $10 but shun the bargain of 32 oz bottle of liquid soap for $5.00?

My brain calculates other calculations. Is it safe to assume that this is the result of a raisin overdose or is that too many assumptions. Which is worse? Ask the play date host parent to return your child, even thought that wasn’t the original plan or take a child with an unstable digestive system into the car to their home to collect your other child? Is it o.k. if the wobbly child remains in the car at a safe distance? Is this o.k. if I can guarantee no contact and keep the windows wound up? Is any of the later acceptable assuming that the said child can be sanitized and dressed prior to departure? Is it possible to sanitize and dress the child prior to departure, and myself? Where is Miss Manners when I need her?

I contemplate the play date host, a man with shared custody and a complicated life. There are many families with complicated lives. I suspect that there are also a few families without any complications, somewhere? The common feature of most families, is their share of happiness, complicated or otherwise. I hear the front door slam to announce the arrival of the cavalry, my eldest daughter. I explain. “No probs, you go, I’ll be on bum watch.”

Horray! One less mind numbing decision to make.

I drive with careful speed to pull into their driveway where I meet 4 happy girls and a happy father with culinary skills, a blue tooth and a foreign accent.

But I would never be one to summarize a single dad in brief.

It seems to me that there are "dads" all over the "place," both "chaps" and "chapesses" that 'get it.'

Maybe I should add a poll? What would be the correct thing to do in such circumstances if the cavalry hadn’t arrived? You never know, you might be next, on one end or the other of the toilet plunger?

Friday, August 29, 2008

A recent jolly good comment award

Please scroll down for photohunters

With seven bodies in my care I find that I have completely lost track of time, hence this is an alternative to the 'comment of the week award.' I hope that normal service shall be resumed shortly or if not that, then longly.

[Inspired by "Scribbit."]

This one goes to "Empress Bee (Of the High Sea)" who blogs at "Muffin 53" for her comment on this post called "Good Fit"
where she says:-

'social issues? huh? man, times sure have changed! enjoy the cats honey!!!

smiles, bee
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo'

It appears that we are both lucky enough to be in the "i-phone" club too!

By the by, I came across this tidy blog during the week that someone else might be interested in too. So if you have a free mo, nip along and say 'hi de ho' to "Hammer" and his "caption contest" for his daughter's photo. Put your thinking cap on though first and hopefully she will enjoy a wealth of your wisdom, as I think it always helps to encourage small people with their creative efforts.

For the older generation or cat lover's or both, you might also want to try your hand at this "caption contest" over at "DJ Kirkby's blog," called "Chez Aspie" but watch out as the competition is pretty steep.

I also have something stinky going on if you fancy a "nibble."

Saturday Photo Hunters - Beautiful

This is where beauty really is in the eye of the beholder. That beholder is me. What I behold is a child who has spent the majority of his life with his "head and shoulders" completely off limits..............

......but apparently "no longer!"

PhotoHunt

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Anyone for tennis?

I collect the children from school to be immediately buried in half a hundred weight of trees.

What is wrong with these people? Haven’t they heard of the paperless society?

We have the technology, it’s called e-mail.

I am grossly grumpy as I sort through three sets of identical A4 sheets of paper, often with a mere one liner. I concentrate on a huge wad of stapled sheets with class room rules, as rules are made to be broken. I am to review the rules with my son before we pen our respective signature to the contract. My ‘fairness’ antennae are all full tweak and twitching.

My mind begins to “Whitter.”

I wonder if they use natural organic dyes for these papers?

I wonder if they use ground ant bodies for ink? I come to line 5 which reads:-

'All games are ‘open.’ Do not tell another student, ‘You can’t play.’

Game, set and perfect match for the whole school year.

Lucky us.

Of course other people overcome common difficulties in the public school system by "homeschooling" and boy does my hat go off to "them" or rather, I take off my crown, but I'll sure be careful not to sit on the pointy jewels.

The days are so short, but there's always time for a "snack."

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Thursday 13 # 3

guess about

Testing, testing 1,2,3

Name the following pictures [identify object]

Categorize into one of the following:-

1. Benign

2. Possibly beneficial for some

3. Instrument of torture

Good luck!

Answers below - sorry I couldn't write them upside down as that would have been way more fun.

1.

10.

11.

12.

13.

1. long handled things are the current talismen therefore benign and possibly beneficial
2. Laser pointer, jolly handy for getting reader’s eyes to track.
2 bGotta be clean or possibly die!
3. Theraband – helps keep those legs and toes in repose and increases bum to seat ratio.
4. Vibrating spoon and mouth massager as it makes those tricky textures more tolerable
5. Do not enter or do not touch precious thing underneath, territorialism isn’t always bad.
6. Balm for the skin and therefore the mind
7. Weighted vest to keep people grounded, it can be very inconvenient to have floating children
8. Increase fine motor skill and strength and help mum to boot.
9. P tube to chew. Helps jaw strength and reduces anxiety [take note smokers and other oral fixaters]
10. Another vest that squeezes, made to measure with Velcro [put your ear plugs in first]
11. Not for fighting but for protecting delicate digits.
12. T tube as above in 9.
13. A delightful Christening gift both a whistle and a rattle and the only instrument of torture.

Prizes =

If anyone get them all right then pop on over for a free bounce on the trampoline!

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Special Exposure Wordless Wednesday

Ambidextrous, mid line crisis or just plain fun?

Should you prefer a few words, I have some over here at my other site "Sandwiched Genes."